photo by SSPIVAK from stock.xchng

It’s not worth it.

Stop pushing yourself.

Sallar Kaboli
3 min readMay 26, 2013

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I’m a software developer and user interface designer. I’ve been told that I’m relatively good at what I do and I’ve been trying to stay this way.

So, I’ve been putting a lot of pressure on myself for the past few years so I can get better at what I do. I’ve been working on multiple projects at the same time and trying to keep all my clients satisfied. Everything was going great and I even did some side projects and they went viral in Iran which was great for me.

I also read a lot. Every morning (and during the day) I try to keep up with all the unread feed items. I used Reeder on my computer and tablet to keep up with the news and always trying not to miss a thing. Checking on latest design and development trends in web industry is one of my favorite hobbies.

Until,

Two months ago my vision got a little blurry when looking at far distances and I thought maybe after all these years of looking closely at computer screens, I’m finally in need of glasses.

So I went to see a doctor and he said that nothing’s wrong with my eyes and I don’t need glasses. I figured, maybe I’m too tired and I need a break. So I took a three-weeks vacation. But when I returned home, not only I didn’t see any improvement in my eyesight, but it got much worse and not only I had a blurred vision when looking at far and nearby distances, but I also had severe headaches and some dizziness.

Then I took it more seriously and I went to see a neurologist. After taking a VEP test and MRI scan, he told me that there’s nothing wrong with my brain and my eyes and the whole thing is a result of putting too much pressure on myself and being tired for a long, long time and that there is nothing more any doctor could do about it and I should let it get better by resting and reducing the amount of work and pressure.

But the blurred vision and the dizziness are still with me and bother me physically and emotionally. It’s really annoying that I can’t work like I used to and I can’t stay focused on stuff. Anyway, like the doctor said, there’s nothing anyone could do for me.

The bottom line is, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. It’s not worth it. It’s really not. Look at me, I don’t think I can be myself again for a long time and I miss myself. All because I tried to push myself to my limits and my body couldn’t take it.

What ever your work is, you are more valuable than your work. You are more valuable than everything.

Sallar.

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