To My Younger Self: Stop Caring About What Other People Think

Dear Younger Me,

Today I’ll tell you a lesson that I believe most people never realize or only figure out after a few very shitty experiences:

Except for your immediate family and if you’re lucky, a few others, no one really cares about you. So stop letting it affect how and why you do things.

Sure, they’re your friends. Maybe they respect you personally & professionally, and maybe some are incredibly nice to you. Add to this list whatever and whomever you want.

However, because of political correctness, naiveté, or something else I can’t quite explain, people tend to forget or ignore the fact that the human species is and has always been about survival.

We may have outgrown cannibalism and we also may live in a very civilized way vs. hundreds of years ago, but the nature of human beings has not changed.

We are all fundamentally selfish, and that’s probably not going to change.

That doesn’t mean you can’t do selfless things, and that you can’t be selfless with your family and close friends. However, at the heart of it all, humans are mostly always acting on behalf of their own self-interest.

I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. We just have to accept it and understand it.

If we take the rationale that humans act selfishly even further, this also means that our lives are self-centered.

This is why when something embarrassing happens, or someone talks behind our back, or someone looks at us or judges us in a certain way, our automatic reaction is to assume that the other person’s world suddenly revolves around us instead of his/her own life.

We assume they’re spending all day talking about us, criticizing us, judging us, and/or scrutinizing us.

But that doesn’t make sense.

Those same people whose thoughts & opinions you are caring about, they are just as self-centered as you.

They’re not thinking about you, and if they are, it’s much less and to a much lesser degree than what you are probably worrying about.

Unless you personally harmed, intimidated, or affected someone else with your actions, then they just won’t care about you or what you do with your life.

That’s just the hard truth.

They might care about your opinion of them, and vice versa, but this is still just humans being self-centered; they are only caring about the way they are seen in the eyes of others.

You might even be the person they look up to, but that still doesn’t mean they care about you, that just means you represent some thing or things they one day hope to have or be.

To others (remember, excluding family & close friends), you are probably just a topic of conversation or gossip, or someone they periodically criticize to feel better about themselves.

That’s it.

So why is everyone spending most of their lives looking for others’ approval?

Also human nature, I guess.

But I think this is one thing we can and should try to change.

And for you, in your 20’s, it’s especially important that you not let other people’s opinions & judgment affect how and why you do things.

So stop caring about what others think or at least stop letting it drive your actions.

I hope you don’t take this as grim advice; it’s just a reality.

While many people can live in perfect harmony with this reality, others can’t and they end up becoming slaves to the thoughts, opinions, and judgment of others.

Don’t let that happen.

Do whatever it is you want to or need to do, because no matter what, there’s going to be someone out there criticizing you. Just give them something more interesting to criticize about.

Best,

Yourself in a few years

Written by: Anonymous Legaats Member.
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