A Dose of Reality-Check for Modern Women
Toxic femininity from a male perspective.
If you’ve been a fan of my work for some time now, you would remember that there was a time when I came for men for their toxic masculinity in my story below.
Now, I’m coming for you ladies and I will not hold back! If the shoe doesn’t fit, please don’t wear it in the comments. If it does, please wear it, learn something from everything I’m about to say, and then change your attitude and behavior for the better. Most importantly, please respectfully share your thoughts.
I tried searching for a single definition of toxic femininity but they were so many online. I got so overwhelmed I could not pick one definition. So, I’ll just demonstrate 6 signs of how toxic femininity looks to me.
After reading all 6 signs, you will have a clearer understanding of what this concept entails, and I will ask you to leave a comment with your own definition of toxic femininity.
Women who assault men often get a free pass
This is one of the things that women often get away with just because they are women.
How often have you seen a woman putting her hands on a man, and even going as far as knocking him down, and gets validated for it? We call her strong, badass, the female hulk. Now, when gender roles are reversed, what usually happens? You guessed it. The consequences are often dire for men, rightfully so, but why aren’t they the same for women?
It seems okay for a woman to hit a man but when he hits back, he’s labeled a woman beater, a weakling, an abuser.
Whether it’s a man putting his hands on a woman or a woman putting her hands on a man, it’s non-justifiable. No one has the right to punch, kick, or slap another person. The fact that there are still women out there who get praised for hitting men while men get shamed for being victimized by women is solid proof of how fucked up and unfair the world we live in is.
Talking about double standards!
How often have you watched a movie with a woman who defeats men in fist fights and felt impressed and then felt not-so-impressed when the roles were reversed? This is exactly the double standard I’m talking about!
Women often get a free pass for sexualizing and objectifying men
This is another example of double standards that favor women over men.
As a woman, you could be sexually inappropriate towards a man all you like and still get away with it. When girls thirst over guys, it’s cool, but when it’s the other way around, guys are perverts.
For example, you could tap or grab his ass, cat-call him, grab him by the dick, and still go free. I can’t say the same for men because we all know the consequences they suffer for literally doing the same things to women. Sign in on YouTube, watch the video below, and then reverse the roles in your imagination to see what I mean.
In addition, a man who sexualizes a woman who sexualizes herself is a pervert, but a woman who sells nudes on OnlyFans is a boss b*tch. They also call this female empowerment. You can’t be targeting the male audience and milk money off of them on OnlyFans and then call them pervy or “simps” outside OnlyFans, otherwise you’re a hypocrite.
Don’t get me wrong. Women face double standards too. For example, when a man is sexually promiscuous, he’s the man in the eyes of the society whereas a sexually promiscuous woman is a slut.
The gym trend
So, there’s this new trend I recently came across on YouTube which came from TikTok.
It’s about self-entitled, egoistic, attention-seeking, and clout-chasing TikTok influencers who go to the gym wearing booty shorts, look for men who look or even glance at them, secretly record these men and then call them out on TikTok for being “creeps” to get validation through likes, comments, and followers.
Most of these videos I’ve seen only confirm the attention-seeking behavior of these influencers and disconfirm the creepy behavior they accuse men of. Nowadays, when you look in a woman’s direction at the gym, even for one second, you get exposed and shamed online for being a creep. You don’t even have to say a word. Talking about a mess!
Watch the video below to see what I mean.
Men must have it all while women bring their bodies and looks to the table
Before you come for my neck, allow me to explain myself.
Men are expected to approach women first, text or call first, be confident, have a stable job or a business, be financially stable, provide for women financially and materialistically, be 6-foot tall, and be good at sex. Basically, men must have it all to stand a chance with these modern-day women with ridiculously high standards.
Here’s the thing though. Unlike women, men are being shamed for having standards. For example, no one can change their height but it’s okay for a woman to prefer men who are 6-foot tall.
On the other hand, when a man prefers a slender/petite woman, obese women tend to be offended and they accuse these men of fat-shaming them. Unlike height, weight is a controllable variable. It’s easy to lose weight but impossible to increase height. So, why the double standards?
Moving on to sex. I’ve seen men getting dick-shamed online by women they had dated at some point. As a man, you are expected to be a sex machine, have a 6 to 7-inch long penis, give your partner an orgasm and make her cum before you do. Women rarely ask themselves if they are actually good at satisfying their partner in bed. Bad sex is always a man’s fault.
Now, with financial stability, as a traditional man myself, I do believe that men must provide financially. By that, I’m not talking about using money as a way to keep a woman yours. Money doesn’t buy love. It can buy happiness to an extent. The type of women who demand a “girlfriend allowance” from the men they date don’t date for love. They date for money and they know it!
They turn a relationship into a business transaction and men seem to be happy to oblige because it boosts their ego that stems from their need to be regarded as providers. One of the ways men demonstrate their masculinity is through financially taking care of their women. A lot of modern women are aware of this and use it to their advantage. How manipulative!
Have you also noticed that Valentine’s day is less about a couple celebrating each other’s love and more about the lengths that a man is expected to go to in pleasing his girlfriend or wife financially and materialistically? That’s what Valentine’s day is all about these days if you’ve been paying attention. A woman simply has to look good.
Relationships have become a total scam, haven’t they?
To me, this whole concept of girlfriend allowance is all about men paying women for dating them and use that money to maintain them as their girlfriends. It’s like rent. You remain a tenant in a flat as long as you continue to pay rent and the second you stop paying rent, you get an eviction notice. In the context of a relationship, you get dumped.
What else do you think these modern women mean when they say they want to be “maintained”, especially the good-looking ones who are entitled to men’s money? They literally mean just that; maintenance. They literally call themselves “high maintenance.”
In addition, a man often has a lot to lose financially and materialistically when he and his wife file for divorce. This happens when they marry in community of property. However, this can be avoided when a couple marries out of community of property. So, be aware of these things before deciding to get married, fellas.
Can you see how hard it is to be a man in the modern-day world? However, it would be so much easier if men ended up with the right women, the kind I’m about to describe.
I personally will never pay anyone a girlfriend allowance. I’d rather be single until I’m 40 than do that shit. Am I stingy with money? No. I’ve literally spent thousands on my family. Truth is I would do the same thing for the right, loyal, respectful, down-to-earth, feminine, and submissive woman who has her own thing going on and her own money and isn’t entitled to mine.
A person who rarely or never asks for anything deserves everything.
Women can be successful and still be submissive and feminine rather than compete with men. Success and independence should not justify disrespect, arrogance, boastfulness, and ill-treatment. No man can ever tolerate such nonsense, unless he’s a simp or whipped or foolish.
If you’re gonna try and act all masculine just because you have money and career and expect to have a happy relationship with a man, I got news for you. It ain’t gonna happen! Two masculine energies aren’t compatible with each other. Someone’s gotta play the feminine role and it ain’t for a man.
Just so you know, by “submissive” I didn’t mean a doormat or a pushover who can’t think for themselves or make their own decisions. My idea of a submissive woman is a traditional one, obviously, but with the exception of taking crap from a man who mistreats you. I’ll elaborate shortly what my idea of a submissive woman is.
I believe that misunderstandings and conflicts can be resolved like emotionally intelligent adults with elite listening and communication skills. No need to argue and scream at each other’s faces.
Nice guys are “nice-shamed” and get rejected
I just coined this term, nice-shamed. Nowadays, being a nice guy is seen as a weakness by modern women. It’s now the new cool to be a jerk, emotionally unavailable, bad boy, f*ck boy, alpha male who won’t commit to the relationship.
These are the type of guys that often get laid by these modern, insecure, emotionally unstable, lost women. This is obviously a huge red flag and I wouldn’t go for these type of women just as they would probably not go for my kind since I’m the “nice guy.”
“Nice guys finish last.” So they say, but do they? Read my answer on the article below.
A former co-worker of mine even told me one day that a guy must be a little toxic for her to date him. She said toxic guys are fun and exciting and keep her on her toes. Apparently, according to her and other women out there, bad boys are fun and nice guys are boring. Imagine being someone who’s attracted to red flags. What a messed-up, sad, and confused generation this is!
If this is the only kind of women we are left with, I’m good! Keep your coochie to yourself or give it to your bad boys. I’ll pass.
I don’t mean to shit on the preference of any woman out there, but personally I think someone who prefers a toxic partner is toxic themselves. Toxic attracts toxic. There’s no way a mentally, emotionally, and psychologically healthy person is attracted to toxicity.
Whatever happened to women who appreciate guys who are nice, sweet, respectful, kind, affectionate, compassionate, and committed to the relationship? Whatever happened to being a nice guy being cool?
To my nice guy fellas, stay nice, kings. You will eventually find your queens.
The boss lady, independent women who claim they don’t need men, until they realize they do
I admire educated, career-driven, financially secure, strong, and independent women, but I also feel pity for those who put career above their love and family life.
How often have you seen an independent woman online or in real life aggressively or boastfully admitting that she doesn’t need a man for anything because “men ain’t shit”, until the reality of her biological clock ticking away starts kicking in, and suddenly has a change of heart and is ready to settle down?
If you are that woman, chances are by that time, barely any man you desire will be willing to settle with you because you would have hit the wall, not to mention sad, old, and lonely. Beauty declines with age afterall and most men often go for young, beautiful, loyal, fertile, feminine, respectful, and submissive women.
This is not to say that older women never find true love. They do, but I don’t think this happens very often.
If you disagree with what I said about men choosing not to settle with older, independent women who have hit the wall and suddenly have a change of heart, then ask yourself why there are American men who would rather fly out of the country to find spouses somewhere else instead of America (the so-called “passport bros”).
Most of these women these American men marry are often young, beautiful, loyal, feminine, fertile, respectful, and submissive. Education and money are just a bonus, but I personally wouldn’t mind marrying a woman who’s the whole package; has her own money, career, beauty, femininity, great personality and character, spirituality, and fertility.
I’m talking about spirituality from a religious perspective and I don’t care if you have a problem with that. I was raised by a God-fearing, Christian woman whose source of strength is prayer and unshakable faith in God. You can’t blame me for wanting to have the same type of spouse. If you know of such woman, send her my way!
This is the kind of woman I’d be a team with, each playing their part into building and maintaining a successful marriage. I would provide for her regardless of her having her own money and career, commit to her, love her, protect her, and cherish her. In return, she would give me loyalty, respect, emotional support, good food, good sex (not entitled to it because I feel there has to be a mutual agreement rather than an obligation), kids, and peace of mind, not chaos and drama. That is a happy marriage. Happy wife, happy husband, happy marriage, happy life.
A high-value man isn’t threatened by a high-value woman and a high-value woman isn’t adamant to compete against the high-value man. Please note that not once have I mentioned anything about one gender being superior over the other. Both genders need each other to complete each other. Men need women to fulfill their certain needs and women also need men to fulfill their certain needs.
As a man, I don’t understand why you would think men are superior to women or vice versa. In what way(s)? We are biologically different and so, you can’t compare the two. Besides, every person on the planet, male or female, came out of a woman when they were born. At the same time, a woman also needs a man’s seed to procreate. So, at the end of the day, men and women need each other. Hope these facts shut down the fight for superiority between the two genders. We are not in competition because we are not the same.
If there’s one thing you should know about us men in general, it’s that we go where we are respected, loved, valued, and appreciated. Those are the type of women every man prefers to marry. This, to me, has nothing to do with ownership or men wanting control over women and I’ll tell you why shortly.
Men couldn’t care less about how much money you make, what car you drive, what you do for a living (even though I personally wouldn’t go for an OnlyFans or Pornhub/Brazzers girl), how many Instagram followers you have, where you went to college or what college degree you have, or how big your house or mansion is, which are all the things that most if not all women look for when choosing a mate or lifelong partner.
Women choose their partners based on figures. We as men, on the other hand, choose based on looks and fertility, femininity, manners, personality, character, and behaviour. Ask any heterosexual man you know and he’ll tell you.
Going back to my preference for women who are not on OnlyFans. Here’s the thing. I couldn’t care less what any woman does with her own body (except the one I’d be dating), and I would respect her enough to mind my own business and not judge without completely understanding where she comes from. However, I would also expect her to respect my preference for women who don’t do OnlyFans without feeling some type of way about it.
You have your own preference for the type of men you go for. Same thing applies to me with women.
There’s an interesting video I recently came across on YouTube that talks about fertility among 40-year-old women. A statement that stood out to me the most was that a 40-year-old woman may look 20 years younger but her ovaries will know that she’s 40 and will function like the ovaries of a 40-year old. Fertility declines with age. Can you now understand from a biological standpoint why men often prefer to marry younger women as far as fertility is concerned? Find the video I was referring to below.
Like I said, I, just like the rest of real men out there, prefer to protect, commit to, and provide for women who give us loyalty, respect, emotional support, good food, good sex, kids, and peace of mind, not chaos and drama.
No man wants to marry his opponent, but his companion. Treat men like kings and they’ll treat you like a goddess. Treat them like trash and you’ll end up alone, lonely, and miserable.
A good, respectful, feminine, and submissive woman deserves a man who will treat her good, care for her, love her, and provide for her. It’s a win-win situation. So, what’s not beautiful about being in a good, healthy traditional relationship?
At the end of the day, men need women, and women need men whether they like it or not. Period. It’s pointless to deny the fact that they were designed to co-exist.
Like I said, men need women to fulfill their certain needs and women also need men to fulfill their certain needs.
Since everyone gets to benefit after all from the relationship, then I don’t understand why feminists still fight for equality, or am I the one who fails to comprehend what equality means?
Again, note that I have not said anything about men being superior over women and I think it’s safe to say you now understand why.
Most happy relationships and marriages are designed traditionally and you will rarely find a happy heterosexual relationship and marriage between two masculine people.
Masculine attracts feminine energy. Two bulls can’t exist in the same kraal which is what the women who call themselves “boss b*tches” need to know.
I hope you can now understand why I said that men’s preference of submissive, feminine women has nothing to do with wanting ownership or control over these women since everyone gets to benefit from the traditional relationship. Besides, I personally don’t believe you can own an entire human being, even if you gave birth to them.
These independent, boss b*tch women claim they don’t need men, yet you’d find that when they encounter plumbing issues in their houses or have responsibilities that demand intense physical labor, or when they get harrassed in public, they realize in those situations that they do need men. This is straight-up hypocritical!
Also, you rarely find a woman who always offers to pay for dinner for two whenever she’s out on a date with a man. The check is often expected to be handled by men. I mean if you don’t need a man for anything, then why let him pay for your meal?
Why do you gotta be a boss lady, independent woman only when it’s beneficial to you?
Money, career, and success can make you happy to an extent, but at the end of the day, every human being is biologically designed to be with other human beings. That is why when you were born, you came out of another human being.
People are designed to be connected intimately with other people. We are designed to love and care for another human being. And to be cared for by someone who loves and adores us. — epiphany
Men and women need each other to complete each other. They were created to co-exist and this has nothing to do with one gender being superior over the other.
Lastly, if you still believe you don’t need men and then need them when push comes to shove, you are a misandrist. Period.
Conclusion
As you’ve seen, women get away with a lot, all in the name of toxic femininity. They get away with assaulting men, sexualizing and objectifying them.
In addition, men are expected to meet all the standards of modern women while they only offer their bodies and looks, men get shamed for being nice to women, and independent women claim they don’t need men until their biological clock start ticking away or encounter situations that need a man’s hand.
Now, with everything you’ve learned about toxic femininity from my perspective, how do you define it in your own words? Is there an additional sign of toxic femininity I may have forgotten to mention? Leave a comment below, follow, and subscribe.
