A Flattering Emotional Abuse

It will soon become your nightmare

Durgesh Chandrawanshi
What Is Love To You?
3 min readJun 13, 2024

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Photo by Edwin Hooper on Unsplash

Love is a complicated thing and it requires time to build a genuine connection. If it’s too fast, too soon, then it’s a sure-shot threat sign; most of the relationship therapist have reported this one common trait that turns out to be their worst relationship experience, and that trait is love bombing.

You are showered with over-the-top gifts and are pressured to accept them as you’re their special and exclusive ones. That is the exact time when you need to step back and seek help, a person who bombards you with a lot of expensive gifts, is not giving you a surprise but a bait to trap you.

Remember when our mom used to teach us not to accept chocolate from strangers during childhood? They do so to shut our mouths when we are being kidnapped. The same thing is going on here, but it’s too subtle to recognise.

Initially, you feel great because of the special treatment you get that boosts your self-esteem and makes you feel important and desired. You may start to develop a soft corner for them, but they aren’t seeking love and acceptance; they are seeking control and dominance over you.

Those special gifts and favors will soon make you feel indebted and pressured to fulfill their needs. Soon you’ll realize that you are being controlled and trapped in a relationship that looks perfect from the outside but a subtle play of exploitation always going beneath. If it’s unusually fantasizing and mesmerizing that doesn’t happen normally, it’ll soon become your nightmare.

You may ask what’s wrong with it and how it is exploitation but you need to recognize the real agenda as soon as you can; he or she isn’t chasing you but their dreams and this time you are the subject of their dream. You are responsible for fulfilling their expectations and if any inability from your side appears, they will show their real selfish face.

They are expecting too much from you that’s why they give too much importance to you and someone’s expectations cannot be fulfilled by someone else. We all create an image of an ideal partner when we are young and usually these love bombers don’t realize that those dreams are just fantasies of ours that cannot be turned it reality.

The love bombers are always searching for a person they consider to be the one on whom they can bombard their gifts and special treatment to gain control over them.

It’s necessary to step out of love bombing and seek help to safely end that relationship, even if you don’t want to visit a therapist you are advised to share these things with your friends or family because the love bombers are the ones who usually crosses limits to get your acceptance and an upper hand over you.

Thanks for reading!

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Durgesh Chandrawanshi
What Is Love To You?

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