Being Blind In Love Doesn’t Work Well; Open Your Eyes
Watch out for red flags and save your time and emotions before it’s too late.
‘Love is blind’ is a phrase spoken by Jessica, a character in The Merchant of Venice by Shakespeare.
We have been blindly following this myth without even realizing the mess this has created. No offense to people who believe in this phrase, but I don’t.
We all have seen people following the latest trends initiated on social media despite how dumb they look. The only reason behind following these trends is “famous people are doing this, so this must be fun.” Can you find any rationale behind these top social media trends of recent times? I don’t.
In my opinion, this myth of “love is blind” is just like a social media trend of the old days. William Shakespeare, a celebrity, wrote this, so this must make sense. It is time to open your eyes and look around.
People who turn a blind eye to all the red flags of their relationship never get a happy ending. By the time they realize their mistakes and connect the dots from the story’s beginning, it is too late, and all that’s left behind is regret, pain, and broken souls.
To avoid this emotional trauma and lifetime regret, open your eyes at the very beginning of your relationship and watch out for these red flags:-
1. No Respect No Love:-
Respect is one of the greatest expressions of love — Don Miguel Ruiz
At the beginning of your relationship, observe closely. Pay attention to the social interactions of your partner. How they treat others and talk to people of a lower social rank says a lot about them. How they behave with elders and kids.
If they are nice to you but mean and disrespectful to others, trust me, they will treat you the same way sooner or later. It is easy to pretend to be someone else for a few days or weeks, but no one can hide their true nature for too long. The reality keeps peeking out of that fake mask. You just have to be attentive.
2. Self Obsession and Love Cannot Exist Together:-
Self-absorbed people only think about what makes them feel good at the moment. They don’t have any respect or regard for anyone else. Then they wonder why their relationships fail — Unknown
Understand the difference between being confident and being self-obsessed. Yes, we all should feel comfortable in our own skin. We should acknowledge our talents and have faith in ourselves. However, when this self-awareness turns into arrogance, considering yourself the best in everything, it becomes a curse for the people around you.
I have made this mistake more than once while admiring people for their confidence and responsible nature in the beginning. However, their true narcissistic traits take over with time, and everything becomes too dark to handle.
3. Once is a Mistake, Twice is a Choice:-
If they do it often, it isn’t a mistake; It’s just their behavior — Dr. Steve Maraboli
Most of us have grown up listening to quotes like “everyone deserves a chance” and “forgiveness is the attribute of the strong,” etc. Yes, to some extent, this is true. However, don’t stretch this too far because it will come back and hurt you.
Notice the patterns. If they repeat the same mistake more than twice, they will not rectify it the third time. “Sorry” is just a word if you don’t realize your mistake and make a genuine effort to fix and avoid your mistakes in the future.
Mark my words, If you keep forgiving them for the same mistakes, you are just reinforcing their behavior, and they will feel entitled to have another chance every time. There is no end to this vicious circle; break it in the very beginning.
4. Pay Attention To Your Conversations:-
It feels good to have those sweet talks where your partner appreciates your face, body, hair, or other physical traits. It’s natural, but it isn’t love if they don’t have anything else to talk about.
When two people fall in love, they want to tell their partner everything, whether it is their past traumas or fondest memories, future plans or family values, their biggest regrets, or long-term goals. However, if your conversations are limited to shallow, meaningless topics like weather, office, tv shows, or sex only, this is a huge red flag.
Not talking about anything meaningful and personal with your partner is a pure narcissistic trait. If your partner cannot share their deepest feelings and thoughts with you, they will never be able to understand yours. It will always be like talking to a wall. You don’t want this, Do you?
5. Over-Involvement Is Not a Good Sign:-
“I hold this as a rule of life: Too much of anything is bad “ — Terence
Too much of everything is bad. Balance is the key to life as well as relationships. All of us need our own space to breathe, grow, keep a few things to ourselves, and have our me time. A sensible partner always understands this.
However, if your partner overindulges in your life, wants to know your whereabouts throughout the day, expects you to tell them the smallest things, and gets mad if you miss something, do not wrap it in a fancy title of “being protective.” They are not being protective; What they are trying to do is control your life.
They want you to see the world from their eyes, speak to people from their perspective, meet only those they like, and totally disown those they don’t. This is not what love looks like. This is not the kind of relationship you deserve.
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