Four Things Love Cannot Provide You
We all have read a lot about what “love” brings in your life. Here are four things love cannot provide you.
I have read countless stories about how it feels to be in love, how love changes your life, how love completes you, how love brings joy to you, and many more. I am not going to write about it, because I think there is so much information out there on this topic, including facts and myths.
To be honest, I don’t think love is the one-stop solution for all your problems. Hence, to knock some sense, I am going to share what love does not bring to your life:-
1. Independence:-
What love Gurus fail to tell you or intentionally hide is that love snatches your ability to be independent and self-sufficient. When you love someone, you lose your independence. The independence to be happy on your own. The independence to feel good about yourself without any affirmation from outside. The independence to enjoy the moment without missing your partner. The independence to make decisions about yourself.
Love is all about sharing. Sharing your laughs and sorrows, dreams and failures, goals and achievements, past and future, plans and complaints. In the process of sharing, you lose your independence and start depending way too much on your partner.
You miss them when they are not around. You need their approval about everything you do. You look forward to appreciation from their side. You want them around almost all the time. Is this dependence good or bad? I’ll leave the decision up to you.
2. Success in Life:-
We have seen movies and read stories about how love makes a shy girl a confident one, an ordinary girl becomes a princess, or a poor guy becomes rich and successful after finding the right partner. However, I have to break it to you that it is nothing but a myth. Love does not guarantee success.
I have seen couples who madly and deeply love each other but cannot achieve something bigger together. I am sure you have seen this too. However, this is not what people want to hear or read or watch. We like the idea of considering love a supernatural power. A power to conquer the world. This is how we like to fantasize about love. But it is all a lie.
What love can bring to you is support from your partner, the courage to deal with difficult situations, and the ability to find happiness even in difficult times. Love may bring you joy and comfort in the lows of life. However, it can never guarantee success. What guarantees success is a story for another time.
3. Transform You Into Someone Else:-
Neither someone’s love can change you, nor can your love change someone else. Love is not a medicine to cure every disease. If someone is rude, unethical, disrespectful, insensitive, selfish, arrogant, or a bastard, he/she is not going to change out of love.
Well-behaved people remain the way they are even if their heart is broken. They may be emotional, depressed, or sad; however, their nature does not take a 360-degree shift after the heartbreak. Love is not a magical potion that can transform someone into an angel. It cannot kill the devil in the other person.
Love may bring out the best or worst in you. But that depends on who you are. The good which is multiplied in love was always there. Your partner did not bring it with him/her. Drop the idea of love having the ability to transform a person. It is nothing but a myth.
4. Make You Feel Better About Yourself:-
People who are not confident about themselves think that they can find solace in their soul mate. However, this is not what happens. If you do not think positively about yourself, the other person cannot make you feel better about yourself either.
What love does is, you start seeing yourself from someone else’s eyes, their words, and opinions. You like their compliments; you see yourself in the mirror and remind yourself about what they said to you. How they loved your eyes, touched your face, or smelled your hair. You start feeling better not because your opinion about yourself has changed. You only feel better because someone else is praising you.
What happens when they leave you? You feel even worse. You think everything they said about you was a lie. You were as ugly and worthless as you thought you were before they entered your life. The heartbreak leaves you devastated and shatters your confidence even more. Why?
Because someone else’s love never changes your opinion about yourself. If you want to feel better about yourself, all you have to do is fall in love with yourself.
Stop over fantasizing about love and stop considering it as a magic potion or a fairy godmother. The only love that has these magical powers is your love for yourself.
