My entire life I’ve spent in regret
of the things I didn’t do
or the things I should’ve done.
There is always some sort of wall up
whether it’s there intentionally or not,
and my head is always clouded
with the thought that the day will come
when I will no longer drift your mind,
and we will become strangers once again.
But when I’m there with you,
I tend to forget all of this,
and it is the most liberating feeling.
I don’t feel the chaos anymore.
I don’t feel the sadness anymore.
I feel safe.
Happy.
Even loved.
A feeling I thought was reserved for the lucky few
that must have cured cancer
or done something incredible of the sort in a previous life.
A feeling I desperately craved for in my childhood.
A feeling I was sure would never be reciprocated for me.
I told you I often feel emotions quite frantically,
But I guess this is the one exception.
With you everything feels calm,
peaceful,
and serene.
Like when you wake up in the morning
and everything is quiet because the world is still asleep
and the trees are swaying in the wind
and the morning sun softly kisses your skin
and you feel your lover’s hands gently press
against the small of your back
and curl around your waist
as their body gently melts into yours
as if they were already joined to begin with.
An unrelenting sense of comfort and belonging.
That’s what I feel when I’m with you.
Please always be you.
Please stay.
