I Loved My Mother When I Was Younger

She was very different when I was a kid

Sieran Lane
What Is Love To You?
3 min readApr 18, 2022

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A mother deer and her fawn stand facing the right side, on a sunny green field.
A mother deer and her fawn. Photo courtesy of kwadrat70 on DepositPhotos

Thinking about my mom depresses me. My relationship with her is bitter and troubling.

But it wasn’t always like that.

When I was a small child, my mom and I actually had a good relationship.

One of my favorite things about my mom, was that she was very clever with her hands, especially in using the scissors. She excelled in the arts and crafts.

For my ninth birthday party, she drew and cut out colorful window decorations. It was my favorite birthday party even to this day.

On Halloween, she carved me a Jack-O-Lantern with a broken lid, which I complained about. But she made a top hat out of construction paper, and the pumpkin ended up looking adorable.

Back then, I was so enthusiastic about my dog and lion plushies, that I even made a “doghouse” for them out of a cardboard box. When I wanted to make the windows, I felt so clever because I thought of using tape to mimic glass. My mom suggested that I use cling film instead. I was embarrassed but also grateful for her much better idea.

Another good memory about my mom, was when she tried to engage with me in my video games.

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Sieran Lane
What Is Love To You?

A queer trans writer and therapist. I help fiction writers complete their novels. Let's connect! https://sieranlane.ghost.io