I’d rather hurt
A poem based on a song (I misheard)
You sigh.
There’s something different in your eye.
Something foreign,
Yet familiar.
A look I have wished
For you to gaze upon me with.
I trail your gaze.
It’s pointed to someone I don’t know.
Please tell me it’s not true.
I wish it weren’t.
I plead,
That the look you give them
isn’t what I know it to be.
As weeks painfully pass,
Your gaze grows stronger for them.
You begin to talk about them.
Each word makes me scream at night.
I must stay quiet
To each glance you steal,
Every word of adoration,
Each sigh
That tells me you are longing for them.
All this pain,
All this silence.
Despite it all, I prefer it.
I prefer it over
Saying how I feel
Seeing your pained expression
Knowing the words you will say
Before you even think them.
Screams.
Cries.
Pain,
As I watch you fall into the arms
Of someone who isn’t me.
My torture is being the observer
To your love story.
All of this
Because I would rather die
By my own hand
By my own torture
By my own heart,
Then to say
I love you.
