Is this love?
Musings of unrequited love
Falling onto you, is this love?
Could I believe it’s true?
Is this love I feel, so close at heart?
How do I say it, where to start?
Do I mean being in love?
At the age of sixteen, I had such feelings without words. Seemingly love, but immature as my experience be, I was just infatuated.
The need to feel, be in love, some of my friends called it puppy love.
Oh well. Perhaps. maybe.
Feeling love is not the real thing when I felt it alone.
Perhaps I never realized.
Self-love is different. Sharing love with someone who loves you back is special. It will have a more emotional connection than a personal one.
For me, love was about family, feeling great with friends, getting personal with close friends, giving a glance at a handsome or beautiful walking by, admiring from far, hoping cupids strike….love has no gender.
Have we been there before? I wonder?
Was being beautiful important in finding love?
I felt it so. In fact, I felt much inferior in those days, especially when I had my schoolmates and classmates in school, being caked in makeup to look awesome. I remember my classmate coaxing me to believe that one should look admiring to gain attention, attraction from the guys in question.
That thought sort of stayed. I could not fake beauty!
Years later, I realized many things about beauty. If I did work on it, I could have felt beautiful in many ways. Write about it. Feel about it. Breath life into it.
Why do we set standards?
People don’t set standards. I feel we have unknowingly set standards by ourselves, in our inner minds.
We end up comparing ourselves with the most beautiful or proved beautiful by others, hoping to imitate those standards to be accepted.
Let me tell you, imitation is fake art, it took me quite a couple of years to realize that. Ornaments, cosmetics, branded accessories to accentuate one’s look is a temporary fix. One can be accepted into the crowd of equal minded fashion style personas, be a copy version of someone else, yet feel unhappy.
Standards are good for assessments, but what about the best qualities of our inner worlds — our persona, our qualities, our best abilities takes a back stand when we give all the attention to metering the standards of the world.
We can be accepted when world standards are met, but this is only temporary.
Our inner world too needs some change, I presume. Some love, some affection, some attention. Discovering more about what we love would make us know how we could share the love.
What chains have engulfed us?
Why are we vulnerable to be the same way, stuck to the same stereotypes?
What do we need to change?
Ask the inner self in silence, give yourself points on self-discovery.
Love is not what we see or perceive.
Love does not need a definition or label, possessions or materialism
rather
Love is to be felt from the heart without expectations.
Perhaps this is love, what do you think?
Let’s me see how to refine the love I thought it was…
