Yemen | To Love & Be Loved

It Is About Being Brave To Allow Ourselves To Be Loved Again

Episode 6 — She married for the 6th time!

Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash

Divorce is a taboo in a society’s mind. I know. Marrying in the late 50s and above is also a talk of the town in most countries. The same goes for the people in my homeland too.

I got a real encounter with a beautiful soul in my life when I was in Yemen. She was the school helper and also a school cook together with me.

I met Khola Bassam (not her real name) in Yemen. She shared the same room with me. When I 1st knew her, she was a divorcee. She had a grown-up daughter and a beautiful granddaughter.

Khola Bassam was a relative to Ammu Raihan (not his real name). He was serving as a helper to the scholar in Yemen. He was very dedicated to his work.

Approximately 8-months later, Khola Bassam found a man she loved. She resigned due to marriage. It was her 6th marriage. She had to follow her husband to another part of Yemen.

Honestly, I believed most of us would not think of marriage again after the 2nd try.

My Indonesian friend asked her how she did not give up love. Khola Bassam was also shocked at the question. It seemed to her that Asians had a weird mindset.

“Why not? We should not close the door of opportunity for love. Love is that you keep yourself being brave to accept a new love once again.”

I was speechless.

I was in awe of the response.

She had never given up on love.

I recalled her saying a beautiful phrase.

“Everyone cannot be alone. Everyone needs someone. No man is an island of his own. You got to be brave to allow yourself to be loved once again.”

But, I dropped my jaws wide open in disbelief. My Indonesian sister and I were speechless. A total of 6-marriages?

There was a divorce case involved.

There was a vehicle accident leading to death involved.

There was death due to sickness too.

However, I felt those very trying moments for her. None of the divorced experiences she had stemmed from physical or mental abuse. I praise Allah for that. Alhumdu Lillah.

I would have given up going into new marriages again and again.

I would have chosen to spend my energy on myself.

I prefer to stop going into multiple marriages one after another.

“You need not marry because of sexual lust. As we grow older, we are tired too. We just needed a companion…” she said further with a smile.

Khola Bassam giggled when she saw my stunned look. My Indonesian sister and I had so many questions in our heads.

  • Isn’t it part of self-worth by disallowing others to keep breaking our hearts in continuous unworthy relationships?
  • How did she keep her heart open to so many opportunities for love?
  • Did she not feel abandoned by God when He took away those who she loved before? It was not once!
  • Did she not feel tired of trying to set up a family or be in an everlasting marriage after more than twice?

How did she manage all these tough times? How many of us would have been into depression and traumas? Or even lose our confidence in a need to have someone by our side?

Yesterday, I met another good soul who is about 55 years old. He was married last year. The couple had broken marriage in the past. Both of them already had grown-up children.

A few years ago, a grandmother from the former junior school I worked in, got married. She was in her 60s! She found a new ray of hope in life.

She used to fetch her grandson with teary eyes. She worked as a cleaner. Taking care of her notorious grandson was already an additional energy absorber. But all these have vanished from her face upon marriage. She was energetic!

She found life! She found hope!

Love seems to heal people’s life. In this season of greetings, I leave you with the Khola Bassam’s reminder:

Be brave to love again.

And if you choose not to go into another marriage, it is ok too. Be happy. 🌹

Today, I recommend you to read an article from my mentor, a mentor to a lot of people here too: Alberto García 🚀🚀🚀about new year resolutions. 💌

May the Lord blesses his hands always into writing inspirational and encouraging articles. Amin.

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