Poetry

What Is Love?

From the perspective of a newlywed (two months and five days, to be exact)

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

They say that you fall
And so I was waiting
To fall
So deeply, so madly
In love with The One

We would meet at University
I firmly believed
Confident in his strong jawline
As much as his unshakeable love for me
And all would go swimmingly.
Of course.

The reality of love
That most unforgiving of phenomena
It’s joys and it’s cruelties
It’s exquisite moments and deep deep pain
The moonlit walks
The groundbreaking rejections
The propositions and ghosting
The breadcrumbing and cheating
The problems that don’t have solutions
The ones that aren’t meant to be
The ones that aren’t right
The ones where you aren’t right
The swiping (ugh)
The underwhelming and overwhelming
The complete disasters
The wows and the mehs
The deep regrets and raised eyebrows
Head in hand
Quizzical, ridiculous, shock
Disappointments and false alarms

Now I laugh
And am strangely glad that it all happened
How strange
Almost like it was all somehow necessary

To launch me into understanding
That love is something I choose
That I choose to be
Choose to give
Choose to receive
Choose to do

I am astounded that I am married
It always seemed so impossibly out of reach
And here is love, apparently
So practical and unromantic
So resilient yet so precious
So much effort, with so few sunsets

Our sunsets are in doing the laundry
Arguing over family holidays
Who finished the chocolate
No, it’s not funny, I can’t believe you didn’t leave any for me

Hoping for kids
While sometimes wondering how we are together
Making peace after World War III
Negotiations are had. Deals are made.

And in moments of peace, looking at each other in wonderment
Wondering how we managed to do it
To end up here
And are still here

And I am laughing
Laughing at the journey
Laughing at what is
Laughing because I am grateful

So bloody glad that I have it.

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