Why You Shouldn’t Yell At Your Lover
This is detrimental to people with anxiety and depression
“Its gonna be okay, May,” I say to the work dog as I pet her weakly, “Can you feel how much pain I’m in?”
I’m gonna admit: I had another breakdown last night. What started as a simple argument about remembering things led to a full-fledged fight that consisted of hurtful words.
I feel numb. I feel empty. I feel fear. Sadness. Uncontrollable worry. Restlessness. Intense anxiety. I feel unsafe. I feel negative symptoms in my mind and body. It was hard to listen to what the other person is saying when I had a pounding headache, a sore throat, and constant tears in my eyes. This is why you shouldn’t yell at someone with anxiety and depression.
These emotions were so much worse last night. It was hard to remember everything when you’re feeling a whirlwind of emotions, especially when being yelled at.
“Are you fucking retarded?” he yelled.
“No, I’m not,” I thought. But I could hardly get the words out. I’m feeling nauseous and light-headed from all the yelling back. He doesn’t seem to listen to me, calm or not. And so I broke down. I didn’t feel listened to at all. I feel no safe space within my grasp.
I had been bawling by myself in the bedroom trying to calm myself down. I had called a hotline and had been crying and in pain while waiting for the counselor to come on. This was my second attempt in calling as I passed out from crying the first time.
“This is what I’ve been saying. You’re delusional. You make your own reality.”
Remembering what he said hurts my heart even more. This is really not good for me. I had depended on him too much that I almost believe it. I really didn’t feel well at this point and the yelling was giving me a constant headache.
“You’re the worst type of person.”
It breaks my heart that he thinks that. I really try my best and I’m not trying to get anyone in trouble. I just want to get out. I just want the pain in me to stop. I just want him to stop hurting me with words.
“Pack your shit and never come back. I never want to see you again in my life.”
Words like these scar more than physical abuse. This is going to leave a psychological imprint. I will never forget hurtful words. This will scar me for life.
This isn’t love.
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