Love | Marriage
You Are A Piece Or A Part Of Me And I Am A Piece Or A Part Of You
what can be a reason for me to hold you in my arms with love?…
If there is a story of love between a child and a parent, I will choose to share the words of love describing Fatimah and his dad, Muhammad peace be upon him. Yes, it speaks about the love between a father and a daughter whose mom passed away when she was young.
“Fatimah is a part of me, and I am a part of Fatimah. Whatever makes her happy makes me happy. And whatever makes her angry, makes me angry…” — (as paraphrased) Book of Anwarul Mukhtar Al Hadith, compiled by Habib Umar (Tarim) /also found in the book of Sahih Bukhari
I remember that love connection through these strong words of a father.
A husband misses his wife when she is no longer around, and vice versa. A child misses his parents when they are no longer around, and vice versa. Recalling each other in their minds triggers solemn moments making people feel sad. So, how do you cope?
Let me share a story and a letter I express to my future daughter. That is if I do not remain a spinster in my life.
Dear Meryem,
When there is a reason to have you in my womb, it will be because I wanted a piece of your baba with me. I know that I have not lost him. For there is a part of him with me. And that is you, Meryem.
When there is a reason to hold and hug you in my arms, it is because I am given part of your baba with me. While he works to bring bread and butter home for us, I still have your baba through you. I feel safe whenever I look at you.
When there is a reason to raise you, it will be because I am gifted with having your baba’s love. He never abuses me. He loves me. He gave me a part of him that when God takes him away from me, I will not feel alone so suddenly.
When there is a strong reason to live life with courage, it will be because your baba left a piece of him to me, and that is you. Your baba is a man cooling to my heart just as I am to him. On days I may be tired, I hope you are the cooling to my eyes and heart, too. You remind me of your baba. I appreciate you.
When there is a reason to accept your mindset to make decisions as you grow older, it is because we will be leaving a better version of ourselves behind. We know we cannot force you to be what you do not want to be, Meryem. We want to see you happy with your path in life. Be better than your parents.
When there is a reason for you to stand up strong if we are no longer around, it will be because you are a part of both of us. Your baba gifted me a piece of him, through my womb. You have my blood within you. Remember God forms you in His best image, the image He wants you to be. You have never lost any of us. You have us with you. Always.
Remember, we are part of you. And you are part of us. We are never far. If we have treated you well and you love us too, never feel sad for too long once we are gone. You have us within you for as long as you remember us.
So, embrace yourself. Keep our love alive in you. Or at least remember the sparks of embers from the fire that burns the woods. The embers of good memories we gave you.
And, if we have given you misery from the test of our marriage, please forgive us for our shortcomings. We hope you will take the courage to build a new life and build your family — the version you feel and think the best. Be a better parent than who we have been to you.
Love, Mama
If you have lost someone dear, please keep in your heart the love. Ask yourself how your loved ones had been a part of you, and vice versa. Indeed, there is no need to look far away when you miss your family. There is a piece of everyone in you. There is a piece of you in everyone. Good and bad. Keep the good memories.
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