You Don’t Love Me How I Want to Be Loved.
An Unfortunate Battle Between Lovers
My primary love languages are Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch
Quality time follows, then Acts of Service, Gifts
Words are so powerful to me
The memory of what was said constantly playing in my head thoroughly warms my heart
The thought of your hand caressing my back, and chest
Your lips against mine run laps in my mind
Though we’d require all languages in this intimate environment, “Primary” only identifies the actions that resonate with us most
There is no “one size fits all” in love and relationships
As the love that you share with your current may be much different from the previous
Some “love” is less fulfilling than it should be due to factors that seem to be out of one’s control
But we navigate from here.. as best as we can
We’ve spent some time together, years. Things were but a dream before
Major changes occurred as time progressed; life happens
But I recognize changes in your behavior
You identify this being due to past trauma and disappointments
You’ve been made false promises for far too long that you are to the point where words mean little to nothing
You grew in a home where your voice made no difference despite how loud you screamed as if you were surrounded by brick walls
So you do not feel the need to speak them anymore; only action matters to you
I love you’s are exchanged very often from my end, but this is a result of my constant expression as I had much practice during my childhood
Normally, you’d become irritated by this, but you give in.. for love’s sake
Unfortunately, one out of two of my primary love languages are unfulfilled
I express this to you, but the walls that you’ve put up are too high and thick for either of us to knock over with ease
I suggest external assistance and activities to extinguish the flames that burn this bridge
You deny these methods as you feel that you can take care of this on your own , in your own time, so it seems I have to find another way across
However, trying to problem solve takes energy, motivation
I choose to refill my cup by pouring it into my hobbies
You spend more than enough time at work to come home, exhausted
Too tired to physically engage me as I had been waiting for the moment to finally lay with you
To feel your touch, inhale your scent.. to hear your voice as you tell me about your long day
Though it seems that there is some disconnect here that I’m unaware of
Maybe it was all in what was discussed before regarding trauma that’s causing the relationship to slowly decline... maybe it’s not
There once was a time when you were crazy over me, and me for you
“How had we gotten to this point? Is it me?” I start to think.
I check for your happiness with questions to gauge how you feel in this space as your feelings are important as well
“Is there anything that I can do that I’m not already doing?”
“Am I missing anything?”
“Are you happy?”
“Nothing, I’m fine,” she replies. Seeming to be confused at why I ask
I was upset with this answer, feeling lost at where to go from here
I express myself constantly.
Desiring the physical attention since there was no hope for verbal affirmation, but something always comes up
How could I feel secure and loved in a space where my cries for help have gone ignored?
The relationship that I had poured so much time and effort into, falling apart before me
Things are out of my control
I don’t want to leave, but I know something has to give
I feel that I’m talking to a brick wall just as you felt in your child home
You don’t love me in the way that I want to be loved
It’s only a matter of time until the split… as all hope is lost on my end at this moment
