What is quitting before you’ve begun?

Stop planning and start living….

~

It’s happening. I’ve joined the modern day cafe culture.

I’m not sitting with a friend talking about work, relationships, upcoming overseas adventures or the fact that my landlord still hasn’t fixed the air conditioning for 10 months (welcome to the Middle East).

Nope.

I, just like everyone else around me, am sitting here with my laptop.

Well, everyone except for one middle-aged lady with a newspaper (not yet relics, thank goodness) and two heavily smoking men who look to be in their late 70s (also a habit that has so far stood the test of time).

That is the scene here in this north Tel Aviv coffee house… and it’s one I hope to remember, because it’s the setting for a personal moment of victory.

I have here and now brought action to meet what I’ve only been imagining and talking about since what feels like time immemorial.

Blogging.

So simple.

But yet… it’s taken me this long, to get this far; blog post number 1.

Why did it take me so long to get here?

It’s a quality that one of the many mentors I’ve sought counsel from over the years, calls the “1, 2…. 50 syndrome”.

Let me explain.

It’s a very effective, albeit unconscious method of self-sabotage.

Let’s take a look at how the syndrome presents itself, by simply examining my thought process around the task of writing a blog —

STEP ONE… Create a website.

STEP TWO… Start blogging.

….

….

STEP 50… Save the world.

Woah. Saving the world is a mammoth task.

**Turns on Netflix.

Of course, I’m exaggerating here (or am I?) — but hopefully it’s clear that the basic premise of trying to see so far into the future, is tripping me up from taking the very first step.

I mean, it’s so obvious.

And yet.

The irony here, is that in most areas of my life, I leap without looking or planning.

YET — blogging, for some reason, seems to come with this heavy expectation; the expectation that what is effectively in my case, online journalling, must determine the rest of my fate and future purpose.

What even IS that?

Well, this is what I’ve come to learn in my bid to overcome this unconscious process…

Humans have a tendency to over inflate something very simple, by dressing it with all sorts of colourful meaning that inherently, does not exist.

Meaning is a fanciful layer of interpretation that we place onto something benign.

This isn’t something I learned in my cognitive psychology major, which served me very little by way of practical application (Bachelor of Liberal Arts, I mean no disrespect)… but actually in a 3 day Landmark Forum course.

So, here’s where my brain’s “meaning creation” programming went awry.

Quite a few years ago I had decided that since I work as a journalist, covering serious stories about serious world issues, I’m not allowed to have public thoughts and feelings, unless I’m Laurie Oakes — a veteran Australian journalist who’s career outlasted more than a dozen of the country’s prime ministers.

This bizarre belief was most likely born when the executive producer of my first national television news gig sent me off to my first LIVE report with the instruction, “I don’t want to know what you think, I want to know what you KNOW. The only person that I care about what he thinks… is Laurie Oakes”.

Then I went ahead, took out my big painting brush of meaning… and decided that this was worthy of a top coat in all public platforms.

So there’s that. You can all start questioning my sanity if you haven’t already.

Moreover, a separate belief I’d adopted from some basket of madness was that if I started blogging, then I also had to create video content, build a social media presence, write a book, host Ted talks, use the money I make to create an NGO with my bare hands and… well, you get it, save the world.

So, here’s why blogging was such a big deal.

It’s bananas.

Let’s jump now to the moment of awakening; identifying the fact that ridiculous beliefs can render us immobile.

Here’s the course of action to loosen that cement —

We should ask ourselves, “what is the belief that is preventing action?”.

Then look for evidence that supports this belief.

If we manage to find any…. (I’m not talking about fears, I’m talking about proof)… BURN THAT EVIDENCE.

Then, FIND NEW EVIDENCE that supports a different belief that propels us forwards.

And carry on.

Ok — now that we have addressed how beliefs can often be holding us back, let’s return briefly to look at perspective, which in my case appears as the ONE TWO FIFTY phenomenon; another little ditty that’s come to serve me well. Ahem.

What IS this absolutely illogical method of self protection?

It’s the brain searching for a guarantee that before setting down the road, it will be worth the journey.

Now, of course, that’s ludicrous to begin with because, it requires a crystal ball; a working one of which I have not yet been able to get my hands on.

So… what’s that critical nugget of wisdom that’s being missed here? The not-so-secret-secret to life?

LIVE IN THE MOMENT.

Ugh. So obvious.

And yet.

So — let’s call on logic to step in and save the day.

We can’t get to step 50 without taking steps 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and the others that follow… unless we have abnormally long legs or a pogo stick.

Regardless, if we take each step individually, it’s a very quick and easy jump to the next one… and we’ll be far more sure-footed when taking it.

Now, if it works for you to imagine and visualise what the future will look like, and the dream itself is moving you forward, well then, of course USE that. This is merely for people like me, who get crippled by too much forward planning and the misty path in between starting and reaching the imagined end.

For us, we need to focus on what we know for sure… and what we know for sure, is what we can see in front of us; what’s happening now.

“Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the NOW the primary focus of your life”. ( Thanks Eckhart Tolle. Take five.)

So, by acting from the present moment, from a place of inspiration, in alignment with our current needs, wants and knowledge base, what can go wrong? Other than maybe walking into a door frame because you misjudge where you are in space… happens to me often. Why is that?

So, I will remember this moment, where just by starting, I am now wiser, more equipped and with a clear view of step number 2.

By the way, there are now 3 people around me reading newspapers.

Newspapers are something I take notice of these days. I wonder how much longer they’ll be around for.

I have no doubt I’ll be telling my grandkids about them, with the words… “back in my day”.

But, that’s me once again looking way too far into the future.