Why helping others achieve greatness is selfish
While casually walking home from lunch… she turned to me and I saw the tears well in her eyes.
“I’m just so happy” she said as she flung her arms around me. There we stood in the middle of the sidewalk… squeezing each other… her sobs prompting the tears to flow from my eyes too. We were consumed in that moment.
***
It’s finally happening. After 7 years, my sister and I are living in the same city.
There’s something that the kind of love I have for my little sister has taught me about life and relationships; the power of wanting for others more than we’d want for ourselves.
I can’t find a simile for how much I care about this girl.
Our relationship is such that the idea of sibling rivalry has often expressed itself in a rather bizarre way…
Over the years, I often looked at her through the lens of “she’s so much better than me”. Growing up, comparing myself to her could make me feel ‘less than’ in terms of my own sense of value.
Our mother would say, “if only you girls could see yourselves through the eyes with which you look at eachother”… it seemed while I was admiring her… she was admiring me, in turn.
But we were using the wrong equation to solve the puzzle of having MORE…
Instead of focusing on our own glasses and what we’d like to fill them with… the key is that there are indeed not two separate glasses.
What I’ve come to learn is how much better MY life is when my sister is operating at maximum capacity – when I’m looking UP at her… with admiration and awe.
I once heard the saying “a candle loses nothing by lighting another candle”. Not only is that true… but the result is that the room becomes all the more bright.
We often fall in to the trap of coveting what others have – whether it be personality traits, physical qualities, possessions or professional success.
Some people also go out of their way to detract from others… either by blatantly badmouthing them or even something less obvious, like withholding praise, advice, assistance or support.
But the fact of the matter is, by employing that behaviour, we are standing in the way of our own success.
You see, if we surround ourselves with people at the top of their game… we, by virtue of being around that vibration, are elevated.
By ensuring the people around us have the best chance of winning, we, by having them in our lives and immediate environment, get a piece of that pie.
Success breeds success. I’m sure you’ve heard that before.
By playing a role in keeping those around us small… we don’t make ourselves bigger… we simply limit our collective world.
If you win… I win. That’s the game.
The way to ensure we operate from this space is to view the world from a place of abundance – that is to say… if someone takes from me… I know there is still plenty more for me, from where that came.
If we believe that by giving of ourselves there is less left for us, that’s viewing the world from a place of limitation and lack.
To that effect… we’re subconsciously telling the universe that’s all we believe the universe has to offer. Dr. Wayne Dyer teaches that what we say to the universe, the universe will echo back to us.
That’s why it’s very important that when we move around in our daily lives, we behave in such a way that we are telling the universe that we know it’s got our back.
When I introduce my sister to my friends in Tel Aviv… I glow with pride. I think to myself, look at this girl who I get to call my sister. Look at how impressive she is. Look at the life trajectory of this girl, to which I am blessed enough to get a front row seat as it unfolds. I get to revel in every glory she encounters and share with her the ecstasy and joy she feels as life delivers her everything she creates with her magnetic qualities. My life is so much greater because of the actions that she’s taking for herself… and I love that I get to help lift her to greater heights as one of her main cheerleaders.
Choose an expansive attitude for others…
Support your friends.
Offer help to strangers.
You’ll be surprised how much better your own life becomes.
