Do the best you can, then funk it.

Cock it to the side. You wear a lid, cock it to the side.

Like the rooster say: Cock-a-doodle-doo, if you had a cock like I do, you would doodle, too.

Some will. Some won’t. Some do. Some don’t.

My mother had seen me through the acid days. She’d say: “Boy, what are you on now?”

After Woodstock, it went from people saying, “Wanna share a tab?” “Wanna share a joint?” to “Be careful of the brown acid,” “Weed is $20 a lid.” It became something to make money off.

Courage depends on what you’re using it for. Sometimes you need courage not to even want to fight.

A good reason. That’s what makes a good party.

When you hear funk, your booty starts betraying you. You can’t help but move as soon as it comes on. Your butt tells you right away it’s the funk.

James Brown records did it to you. As soon as you heard them come on, you knew it, damn, that’s some funky shit right here.

Funk is the DNA of hip-hop. To Tupac to Snoop to Kendrick Lamar.

Music is its own language — but it speaks to everybody. Including animals.

After a while, I did all kinds of stupid shit with my hair. Styles were changing and you just had to adapt. Knowing that, I just started doing shit ahead of time. All of it was acting. I did anything that was absurd or I thought I could get away with. My hair became a permanent neon light.

Then somebody from Newark would see me and say: “Muhfugguh, get that Baby Jane shit out yo’ head. . . .”

A few times I thought I took my hair as far as I could go. But then I found out that I hadn’t.

Poise is: “We got this.”

If I could meet anyone who’s ever lived? Mahatma Gandhi. I’d like to know how is that shit possible?

I did get to meet the Dalai Lama. He’s another one that you want to know: How is that shit possible? To maintain that smile and that frame of thought all these years. That sense of humor. He’s got that spiritual thing on him, like the Jedi knights when they get that magic on them and they’re protected. It don’t make sense in logical terms, but yet you know it’s there. He’s out there wherever that place is: the oooga boooga.

My mom used to come to our shows all the time. Give Up the Funk. Atomic Dog. All of that. She was one of our biggest fans. When she saw the Mothership, it was: “Boy, what are you on now?”

Life is speeding up daily.

When we didn’t have cell phones, we used to remember people’s phone numbers. Now I don’t even know my own.

Goin’ to the stage, I’m nervous all the time. But with that first step on, it disappears. By the time you see me, it’s gone.

To get inspired, I watch the movie Yellow Submarine. I watch it all the time. I call it bulk erasin’. I watch it when I got to do a project and I want to clear my head. When you finish watching that, you have a clear mind, and room to do something new.

Seeing Michael blossom from the Motown days, that was something phenomenal. Never heard anybody quite like him.

Drummers and guitarists like to bang on shit and shred it up. Keyboard players and horn players had to go to school a lot. They tend to be a little more controlled.

I don’t play any instruments. My ears are my instrument.

I watched the Red Hot Chili Peppers become like vegans almost. That was a far cry from the way they were when I first met them. I’m not vegan. But I learned it was possible.

I got a certain juice that I’ve been drinking. It’s really good. I drink it twice a day. Lost about 80 pounds in the last year and a half.

Oh, man. Back in the day. Steaks, barbecue. Soul food. We were all over the place. But when you start doin’ acid, soul food don’t work. That shit blows your stomach out. You’ll be fartin’ all over the place. Trippin’ and fartin’, that’s some stinky shit.

You’re capable of all kinds of things when you’re in the zone.

I do take responsibility. They took away my copyrights when I was high.

Funk is its own reward.

Damn. My definition of peace? I can’t answer that without coming up short.

I’m going to outer space. I’m definitely goin’. I’ve been invited. Two more years. You’ll hear about it pretty soon.

I’m gonna clone myself and keep right on funkin’.

Photo: Getty Images

For more wisdom and life lessons from world leaders, cultural icons, and athletes, head to Esquire.com.