In a strange land, finding yourself

How not to miss a golden opportunity

By John Bryden. When you move to a new country, a lot of your everyday assumptions get put to the test. Things don’t work the way you expect. Values are different. You have to adapt, to a greater or lesser extent, so you’re challenged to think about who you really are, and what you truly believe.

Here are some thoughts about the process of adjustment, that have come to me from living in China as a migrant from New Zealand.

You find the new country exciting and the opportunity to be a new version of yourself is intoxicating. But, naturally, something in you also resists change. Your experience up to now has produced a certain story about who you are and you do things. It’s uncomfortable to make big adjustments in your ideas and behaviour.

The first strategy of resistance is complaint. Everything that you don’t like about your new homeland comes to the foreground of your awarness. There’s a temptation to constantly remark on the stupidity of local ways in contrast to the excellent habits of the people in the wonderful place where you were born and raised.

The temptation to complain needs to be resisted. Happiness lies in focusing on the positive aspects you can find in your surroundings and the new opportunities at hand. Focusing on the negative blinds you to opportunities for growth and the unusual achievements that are possible in unusual circumstances.

But, there are some deeply rooted values in your character that ought not to be fundamentally changed. Your prior life experience and learning contain gems that can help you be a better contributor to your new society.

So, you’re challenged to reflect on what’s really important in the greater scheme of things. Moving to a new country offers the chance to become a better version of yourself, with a clearer idea of how you would truly want to be remembered.

Here’s a poem on the thoughts I’ve outlined in this article.

East and West

The East contains its mysteries and the West
its wild unknowns, but the profoundest riddle
holes up in the Middle, which doesn’t rest,
exclusively, someplace from which there ripple
the radiating waves that would attest
one centre leads the world, without a quibble.
Though many a player is, self-professed,
an ace, they cannot all perform first fiddle.
The Orient, which to the West is East
is to itself, most naturally, the Middle
and China by its chosen name at least
remains the Middle State. I’ll not belittle
its presumption, while I am China-based,
because my standpoint settles, where I’m placed.

Because my standpoint settles, where I’m placed,
I must adapt to anywhere I stumble,
so, though initially I feel displaced
and find the local scene a crazy jumble,
eventually discomfort is replaced
by ease and, culturally, I no more fumble.
Adjustment is the common challenge faced
by migrants as their assumptions crumble.
Not all my former self can be erased —
nor can my inner boundaries, outright, tumble:
contrasting customs ask to be appraised,
lest, losing direction, I start to bumble.
If going east or west, or back and forth,
it always pays to keep in sight, true north.

‘Freedom’s Beat’

The above poem is contained in my poetry collection, ‘Freedom’s Beat’. The book is available in both ebook and hard-copy formats. Please check it out on Amazon.

‘Freedom’s Beat’ is a little book all about finding the joy in life, despite the struggles that change and chance force upon us. Some of the poems describe my observations as a New Zealander living in China. Others comment on social issues, celebrate family and wonder at the natural world, and ponder on spiritual themes. Read them for inspiration!

Besides Amazon, you can also get ‘Freedom’s Beat’ at Smashwords. (Here you can get multiple formats including PDF, or read online.) It is also available on Barnes & Noble, iTunes, Kobo, and Scribd.