Ten Dumb Jokes About Donald Trump’s Hair from those Insane Photos Taken Yesterday

Donald Trump’s hair isn’t particularly new news in the US media. In fact, you could say that it has been combed over pretty good for new material! HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

But, occasionally when you’re feeling beaten down by the thoughts of impending tariff-wars with China and thoroughly exhausted by the President’s pumpkin-pie-hued insanity regarding the national guard and the Mexican border you just need to decompress, and look at some 100%, certifiably insane, photos of his hair as he tries to board Air Force One.

So, let’s break down a few of the photos of the President’s mane from yesterday.

(*Author’s note: all photos courtesy of the AP)

1. This first photo looks like the August page of a calendar on the wall of your Pediatrician’s lobby where it’s depicting the Maine coastline and it’s a perfectly timed image of a giant wave smashing into the rocks at sunset and splashing into the dusk-air.

2. The good news is, it looks like Trump’s own body has constructed an elite wall-prototype for him to fill in any gaps on the US-Mexico border. He is, as it turns out, a man of his word.

3. The only thing left to do is for Keanu and the ghost of Pat Swayze to drop into this wave and for us to call this gritty, dark reboot: Breaking Point.

4. This one literally looks like his hair is trying to get away from his scalp. It looks like his hair is running as hard as it can in the opposite direction. You know, kind of like Melania does when she hears “Honey, I’m home.”

5. It looks like the least appetizing Hershey’s kiss of all time. Except for, instead of having almonds inside, it’s just racism wrapped in tin foil. Which describes him so well. Tin foil, conspiracy hat on the outside, racist on the inside. Now with chunks of nougat!

6. His hair looks like it’s fully ready for the “release” part of “catch and release.”

7. It looks like his weave went skydiving and he just stayed on the ground. Like, his hair leapt out of a twin-prop airplane at 10,000 feet, but his scalp was the responsible, sensible one that stayed on the ground and decided to just video tape it.

8. This front piece — that’s effectively a giant middle finger towards the laws of gravity and appears to just be hovering out in front of his head — reminds me so much of storm clouds rolling in. And, given trumps history of troubles surrounding STORMY weather? Makes total sense.

9. This picture appears to capture the side of the President’s entire skull opening up like some dramatic, robotic revelation in a cheaply made Sci-Fi movie. But what — Oh, WHAT?!?! — could possible be inside?

10. Trump’s hair is literally gerrymandered all over his entire scalp. No wonder he likes it so much.