My Origin Story

TLTR: My origin story. Like most origin stories, it is too long, too personal, and only a little relevant to the later plot line.

THE company, if I am being quite honest, has always been Blizzard.

Back in the childhood days I only knew how to /follow my Dad’s character as I looked around the world of Azeroth. Even though I am pretty sure he just made me play because he needed some extra dps, we had a great time playing together.

Years past, I kept the troll and I learned a few more commands. My Dad has always lived across the country, so every weekend I would log in and we would hang out while playing the game.
 Then high school arrived. I played in the marching band, so I was already pretty uncomfortable with my ‘coolness’ factor, and I was your stereotypical chubby white girl. Instead of taking the time to figure out who I really was I decided(in a true, stubborn me fashion) who I was going to be. I joined track and field and cross country, found a boyfriend, wore a lot less black and lost some weight.

I had managed to put on some gear and changed everyone’s perception of who I was, including myself.

There in lies the real problem.

Pretending for so long had fundamentally changed what I thought of myself. In order to keep the the disguise I had to push aside the things the I truly enjoyed, therefore becoming more and more ashamed of them. I convinced myself that I loved what everyone else loved. Most of my friends were still total nerds, but I had to (this ‘had to’ came completely from myself, not from them) fit the stereotype of the girl in the group. I took on the role of the mom, always making food, driving people around and “letting the boys play their games.”

TLTR: I let gender norms and my own insecurity convince me to bury parts on myself and change who I was.

STEREOTYPICAL MOMENT: College surrounded me with different types of people who allowed me to see that there was more than just one type of person I could be

College came, I met a guy whose Dad was a high up for Blizzard and I had a moment that I could not hide. I got so excited that I let it slip that I use to play WoW. He was nice enough about it, asked me about when I played and it got me reminiscing about the good old days. He talked about the most recent expansion (Mist of Pandaria) and what had changed.

The excitement had returned and I needed to start playing again. I began playing the free version for a bit, quickly getting my character up to level 20 and wanting more. When someone asked about what I was doing I told them, but I was horribly embarrassed. This person, soon to become one of my best friends, got super excited.

He started to share his stories about his guild and the amazing times in Wrath of the Lich King. He was not ashamed of the power that the gaming community had in his life, and he expressed things that I myself had felt years before.

The beginnings of my collection.

I began being more open about my love for WOW and I found people with similar experiences very easily. People got excited, asked about my experiences and shared many of their own. I realized how out of touch I was with the video game industry and all of the amazing games I had been missing.

Playing WoW got too hard during college because I was working multiple jobs, still doing band and trying to get my bachelors and masters degrees at the same time. I mostly played a lot of Fallout (an amazing series that I had missed) whenever there was a break in my schedule or life got too overwhelming.

I started to realize that the majority of the moments I was the most happy was when I was talking with people about games. The excitement and passion that comes from gamers is pretty much unmatched in any other community. Games allow you to get so invested in the characters and the plot like nothing else. They can help you experience things you otherwise might not have ever understood(Gone Home comes to mind — an experience to be talked about in its very own post).

I decided that I wanted games to become my career.

STEREOTYPICAL MOMENT: Graduation sent me into a wave of depression where I realized that spending hours and hours online in the gaming community was one of the few times I felt like didn’t want to jump off a building.

Life after graduation, especially for those of us who want to go into an entertainment field, is pretty damn shitty on the whole. It seems that everyone has the same goal as you, to work for THE company, but no one knows a way in. Even the people in the industry do not seem to realize how they made it in. Everyone talks about getting “foot in the door,” but is incredibly vague about what the hell that even is. This made me, a super type A, very uncomfortable. My long term plan remained in place, but my short term goals were a complete mystery.

This gets everyone up to speed to today. Me, writing a blog that no one will probably see, in order to get a “foot in the door” by talking about games. In order to work for THE company, Blizzard. Here goes nothing.

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