Fear: Essential Wisdom for Getting Through the Storm
(Thich Nhat Hanh, 2012)
Fearlessness
We think that, to be happier, we should push away or ignore our fear.
The only way to ease our fear and be truly happy is to acknowledge our fear and look deeply at its source.
We are afraid of things outside of ourselves that we cannot control.
Holding tightly doesn’t ease our fear. Eventually, one day, we will have to let go of all of them. We cannot take them with us.
If we bury worries and anxieties in our consciousness, they continue to affect us and bring us more sorrow. We are very afraid of being powerless. But we have the power to look deeply at our fears, and then fear cannot control us. We can transform our fear.
Don’t think that dangers come only from outside. They come from inside.
Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future.
The first part of looking at our fear is just inviting it into our awareness without judgment. Once our fear has calmed down, we can embrace it tenderly and look deeply into its roots, its sources.
To really be free of fear, we must look deeply into the ultimate dimension to see our true nature of no-birth and no-death.
When we understand that we are more than our physical bodies, that we didn’t come from nothingness and will not disappear into nothingness, we are liberated from fear.
Fearlessness is not only possible, it is the ultimate joy.
A Time Before
Then the day of your birth arrived. Everything felt different around you, and you were thrust into a new environment. This is original fear.
We were born, and with that birth, our fear was born along with the desire to survive. This is original desire.
When we grow up, our original fear and original desire are still there.
Our desire to have a partner is, in part, a continuation of our desire for someone to take care of us.
If we look deeply, however, we will find that we have the capacity to calm our fear and find our own happiness.
When you practice meditation, you begin to see things that other people do not see.
One of the first things we can do to soothe our fear is to talk to it.
We can remind him several times that we are no longer a helpless child, we have grown up into an adult, and we can very well take care of ourselves.
We have grown up. We’re now capable not just of defending ourselves but of living fully in the present moment and giving to others.
Original Fear
Mindfulness reminds us that it is possible to be in the here and now. It reminds us that the present moment is always available to us; we don’t have to live events that happened long ago.
Because it’s so easy to be caught in the past, it’s helpful to have a reminder to stay in the present.
It only means that you know there’s no use losing yourself in worries and fear concerning the future. If you are grounded in the present moment, you can bring the future into the present to have a deep look without losing yourself in anxiety and uncertainty. If you are truly present and know how to take care of the present moment as best you can, you are doing your best for the future already.
Reconciling with Our Past
The fear we feel comes from both our own and our ancestors’ original fear.
Writing a letter is a form of meditation practice.
We are capable of great change, both internally and also in our ability to influence the world outside us.
Understanding, when it comes, helps us release our fear, our anger, our hate, and so on. Love can only be born on the ground of understanding.
Unconditional acceptance is the first step in opening the door to the miracle of forgiveness.
To sincerely accept others as they are, we must begin with ourselves. If we cannot accept ourselves as we are, we will never be able to accept others.
If you can look at your ancestors in this way, you will understand that they were human beings who suffered and tried their best. That understanding will erase all rejection and anger. Accepting all your ancestors with both their strengths and their weaknesses will help you become more peaceful and less afraid.
Releasing Fears About the Future
We often walk around in fear of what will happen to us in the future.
The Five Remembrances
I am of the nature to grow old. I cannot escape growing old.
Running away from our fear ultimately makes us suffer and makes others suffer, and our fear only grows stronger.
Reciting this remembrance is not mere restatement of the obvious but a chance to take in a truth that we need to experience directly.
I am of the nature to have ill health. I cannot escape having ill health.
We must see right in the present moment.
The path of right conduct will appear; we will make good use of our time and energy to do what’s needed and not be carried away by senseless pursuits that can destroy our bodies and minds. What we need to do will become clear.
I am of the nature to die. I cannot escape death.
Contemplating our mortality helps us focus our energy into the practice of transforming and healing ourselves and our world.
All that is dear to me, and everyone I love, are of the nature to change.
There is no way to escape being separated from them.
Our happiness should not depend on having that particular spot. We must be ready to let go.
If we practice and are able to release, we can be free and happy right now, today. If we can’t let go, we will suffer not only on the day when we’re finally forced to do so, but right now today and every day in between, because fear will be constantly stalking us.
If we are attached to obtaining more and more wealth, fame, power, and sex, we lose our freedom.
I inherit the results of my acts of body, speech, and mind. My actions are my continuation.
When we die, the only things that continue us are our thoughts, words, and actions — that is, our karma.
What we do, say, and think continues on after the act is done, and its fruits follow us.
We engage our fear in an empowered way.
Invite your fear into consciousness, and smile through it; every time you smile through your fear, it will lose some of its strength.
The fear receives a bath of mindfulness and becomes a little bit weaker before it drops back down to the depths of our consciousness in the form of a seed.
No Coming, No Going
We can see that birth and death are just notions; they’re not real.
When we understand that we can’t be destroyed, we’re liberated from fear.
If you can stop and look deeply, you will recognize your beloved manifesting again and again in many forms. You will release your fear and pain and again embrace the joy of life.
When we are not fully present, we are not really living.
We should look for the kingdom of God in the present moment, because the present moment is the only moment that is. The past is gone, and the future
is not yet here.
In the first step we accept that birth and death are happening, but in the second step, because we’re in touch with the ultimate dimension, we realize that birth and death come from our own conceptual minds and not from any true reality. By being in contact with the ultimate dimension, we are able to be in touch with the reality of all things, which is birthless and deathless.
In reality, there is no coming and going. The wave is always water; it doesn’t
“come from” water, and it doesn’t go anywhere. It is always water; coming and going are just mental constructions.
When conditions are sufficient, something manifests, and we say that it exists. When one or two conditions are no longer there and the thing is not manifesting in the same way, we say that it does not exist.
Everything is impermanent; everything is changing. Nothing can be the same forever.
Your birth was not your beginning but only your continuation. You were here already, in other forms.
You have never lost your beloved. She has just changed forms. That is the kind of vision, the kind of insight that is needed to overcome grief.
As the Buddha said, “The past no longer is, the future is not yet here; there is only one moment in which life is available, and that is the present moment.” To meditate with mindful breathing is to bring body and mind back to the present moment so that you do not miss your appointment with life.
The Gift of Fearlessness
Practicing meditation, we can generate the energies of mindfulness and concentration.
If you stop running after the object of your craving — whether it’s a person, a thing, or an idea — your fear will dissipate. Having no fear, you can be peaceful.
Watering the seeds of happiness is a very important practice for those who are sick or dying. All of us have seeds of happiness inside us, and in those difficult moments when we’re sick or dying, there should be a friend sitting with us to help us touch those seeds. Otherwise seeds of fear, regret, or despair can easily sprout into big formations that overwhelm us.
Everything that is arises because of causes and conditions.
You have to know the true nature of dying to understand the true nature of living. If you don’t understand death, you don’t understand life.
The basis of suffering is ignorance about the true nature of self and of the world around you.
The Power of Mindfulness
Don’t take refuge in anything outside of you. In every one of us there is a very safe island we can go to. Every time you go home to that island with mindful breathing, you create a space of relaxation, concentration, and insight. If you dwell on that island in yourself with your mindful breathing, you are safe. That is a place where you can take refuge whenever you feel fearful, uncertain, or confused.
When you practice being aware of your breathing, you generate the energy
of mindfulness.
Don’t be violent toward your anger, your fear, and your worries. The practice is simply to recognize them. Continue to practice mindful breathing and mindful walking; then, with the energy generated by your practice, you can
recognize intense feelings, smile to them, and embrace them tenderly.
Our daily lives need to have a spiritual dimension to help us develop our
capacity for taking good care of our pain and fear as well as our happiness.
If we practice mindfulness, we always have a place to be when we are afraid.
Learning to Stop
The practice of meditation offered by the Buddha has two parts: stopping
and looking deeply.
When you stop, you are master of your body and your mind. You will not allow your habit energy to carry you away in compulsively thinking of something in the past or the future.
Sitting meditation is not for fighting. You let go of everything.
When a thought comes, you say hello, and then you say good-bye right
away. When other thoughts come, just say hello and say good-bye again.
Don’t fight.
You bring your mind to the present moment and rest in awareness of your body.
When you let go mentally, you relax physically, because the body and the mind are two aspects of one reality.
We know that other people are impermanent, but in daily life we assume that they are permanent. With this awareness, we can treat others with more love and understanding. They will soon be gone. With this awareness, we can also have more understanding of our own role in our suffering. Instead of blaming others, we can look at our own being and work on whatever unskillfulness on our part may have contributed to our difficulty with another.
Meditation has two aspects: stopping and calming is the first, and looking deeply to transform is the second.
An emotion is just an emotion. It comes, it stays for a while, and then it goes away. Why should we hurt ourselves or others just because of one emotion?
We are so much more than our emotions.
Transforming the Fear Around Us
Sometimes it’s tempting to ridicule the fear of others because it reminds
us of our own fear.
Compassion can only be produced in our own heart, by our own practice.
Our responsibility is to produce the energy of compassion that first calms down our own heart and then allows us to help the other person.
When you make the effort to listen and hear the other side of the story, your understanding increases and your hurt diminishes.
Deep listening and loving speech are very powerful practices. With them, we can create good communication and find out what is really going on.
Safety is not an individual matter. Helping the other person feel safe is the best guarantee for your safety.
Only with the practice of deep listening and gentle communication can we help remove wrong perceptions that are at the foundation of fear, hatred, and violence.
Transforming Fear into Love
We should not throw anything out. All we have to do is learn the art of composting, of transforming our garbage into flowers.
Mantra for Offering Your Presence
The most precious gift you can give to the one you love is your true presence. So the first mantra is very simple: “Dear one, I am here for you.”
Mantra for Recognizing Your Beloved
The second mantra is, “Darling, I know you are there, and I am so happy.”
Mantra for Relieving Suffering
The third mantra is what you practice when your beloved is suffering: “Darling, I know you’re suffering. That’s why I am here for you.”
When we suffer, we have great need for the presence of the person we love.
Mantra for Reaching Out to Ask for Help
“Dear one, I am suffering; please help.”
The practice of mindfulness, of meditation, consists of coming back to ourselves to restore peace and harmony.
Being there with what is beautiful and healing inside us and around us is something we should do each day.
The Opposite of Fear
A solid sense of brotherhood and sisterhood gives us strength when we feel fear or despair and helps sustain our power of love and compassion. Brotherhood and sisterhood can heal and transform our lives.
You listen without giving advice or passing judgment. “I am listening to
him just because I want to relieve his suffering.” This is called compassionate listening.
Radiating peace and joy and life all around is what we call the living Dharma.
If we understand our suffering, we understand the suffering of the world; if we can transform our own suffering, we’ll be able to help transform the suffering in the world.
Getting in touch with the suffering of the world, we feel much less alone, and our own suffering feels smaller already.
We should learn how to breathe in and out to release our tension and embrace our painful feelings.
Practices for Transforming Fear
Exercises 1 through 4 are for taking care of the body; exercises 5 through 8 are for taking care of the feelings.
Exercise 1
It brings great benefit: the insight that you are really here, alive. And you’re not only this body, but also your environment — you’re all of this.
“Breathing in, I know this is an in-breath. Breathing out, I know this is an out-breath.”
We let go of our thinking; we let go of the past, of the future, of our projects.
Exercise 2
“Breathing in, I follow my in-breath all the way from the beginning to the end. Breathing out, I follow my out-breath all the way from the beginning to the end.”
In that way your concentration becomes stronger and stronger.
With concentration, conditions are ripe for insight to manifest at any moment.
The second exercise involves staying with the in-breath and the out breath for their whole length.
Exercise 3
“Breathing in, I’m aware of my whole body. Breathing out, I’m aware of my whole body.”
Bringing the mind back to the body.
Oneness of body and mind is the object of the third exercise.
This is an act of reconciliation between the mind and the body.
Exercise 4
“Breathing in, I am aware of some tension and pain in my body; breathing out, I calm and release the tension and pain in my body.”
The fourth exercise is releasing tension, allowing the tension to flow out of the body.
The Realm of Feelings
When we practice mindfulness, we should be capable of generating a
feeling of joy, a feeling of happiness.
Traditionally we say there are three kinds of feelings: pleasant feelings, unpleasant feelings, and neutral feelings. For me there’s also a fourth one: a mixed feeling, when happiness and pain are mixed up together, like a bittersweet feeling.
The Conditions of Happiness
All we have to do is to come back to ourselves so we can recognize the conditions of happiness that are available, and then happiness comes right away.
If you’re capable of producing a feeling of joy, a feeling of happiness, then you’ll also be able to handle painful feelings.
Even with a pleasant feeling, we just recognize it. We don’t need to grasp it or cling to it. We just practice mere recognition of what is happening, that is, a pleasant feeling.
We don’t try to grab on to the pleasant sensation, and we don’t try to push it away. We just acknowledge its existence. When a painful feeling comes, we do the same thing.
We stay free. A feeling is just a feeling. And you are much more than that feeling.
Recognizing Joy and Happiness
The fifth exercise is to recognize a feeling of joy: “Breathing in, I feel joy.
Breathing out, I know joy is there.”
The sixth is to recognize a feeling of happiness: “Breathing in, I feel happy. Breathing out, I know happiness is there.”
Joy and happiness are slightly different. In the joy there’s still a little bit of excitement. Happiness is a more peaceful feeling, like contentment.
We shouldn’t identify ourselves with the feeling, nor should we try to push it away. We’re free, even from our own feelings.
Recognizing and Embracing Pain
The seventh exercise is to recognize a painful or unpleasant feeling: “Breathing in, I know that a painful feeling is there. Breathing out, I calm
that painful feeling.”
The method the Buddha proposed is to get in touch with the seed of mindfulness in us.
When that positive energy embraces the painful energy, there will be an effect. The energy of mindfulness will penetrate, like heat waves or sunlight.
Mindfulness and concentration embrace the pain.
Relief from Fear
The eighth exercise is to calm and release the tension in the painful feeling
— to embrace, soothe, and bring relief to the feeling: “Breathing in, I calm my mental formations. Breathing out, I calm my mental formations.
Every time the pain manifests, we have to let it manifest; we should not push it down. We shouldn’t try to suppress it. We have to let it come and take good care of it.
Transforming the Roots of Fear in the Mind: 8 Breathing Exercises
The Realm of the Mind
The first exercise is to be aware of our minds and recognize the state of our
minds, Breathing in, I am aware of my mind. Breathing out, I am aware of my mind.”
Making the Mind Happy and at Ease
The second exercise is gladdening the mind: “Breathing in, I make my mind
happy. Breathing out, I make my mind happy.”
We make the mind glad so as to strengthen it and give it vitality.
To gladden the mind, we use a practice called selective watering.
First, we allow the negative seeds to sleep in our store consciousness and don’t give them a chance to manifest.
Second, if a negative seed manifests in mind consciousness, we help it go back to store consciousness as quickly as possible, where it can sleep as a seed. The third practice is to encourage wholesome mental formations to manifest in our conscious mind.
In the fourth practice, when a good mental formation has manifested, we try to keep it there as long as we can.
Concentrating the Mind
The third exercise is to bring the mind into concentration. We practice concentration to get insight: “Breathing in, I concentrate my mind. Breathing out, I concentrate my mind.”
Concentration has the power to burn away afflictions.
Looking deeply into our fear, anger, delusion, and despair — can burn them away, leaving insight.
One concentration is the concentration on emptiness, the absence of a
permanent entity.
Concentration means you keep the insight alive for a long time.
Liberating the Mind
With the fourth exercise, we free our minds from afflictions and notions:
“Breathing in, I liberate my mind. Breathing out, I liberate my mind.”
Concentration on impermanence.
Contemplating Impermanence
The fifth exercise is the concentration on impermanence.
“Breathing in, I observe the impermanent nature of all Dharmas. Breathing out, I observe the impermanent nature of all Dharmas.”
Going deeply into impermanence, we discover no-self, emptiness, and interbeing. So impermanence represents all concentrations.
Letting Go of Craving
The sixth exercise involves contemplating nondesire, noncraving:
“Breathing in, I observe the disappearance of desire. Breathing out, I
observe the disappearance of desire.”
Manas contains a lot of delusion and therefore has the tendency to grasp; it is the part of our mind that is always seeking pleasure and ignoring the dangers of pleasure seeking. It is manas that carries our original fear and desire.
Nirvana
“Breathing in, I observe cessation. Breathing out, I observe cessation.” In the seventh exercise we observe cessation — nirvana, the extinction of all notions — so that we can touch reality as it truly is.
Letting Go
“Breathing in, I observe letting go. Breathing out, I observe letting go.” This exercise helps us look deeply at giving up craving, hatred, and fear.
We let go of our wrong perceptions of reality so as to be free. Nirvana literally means cooling, the putting out of flames.
Metta Meditation: May We Be Free from Fear
Metta means loving kindness.
According to the Buddha, a human being is made of five elements, called skandhas in Sanskrit. These skandhas are form, feelings, perceptions, mental formations, and consciousness.
The person who suffers most in this world is the person who has many wrong perceptions, and most of our perceptions are erroneous.
The Five Mindfulness Trainings
- Reverence for Life
- True Happiness — happiness depends on my mental attitude and not on external conditions, and that I can live happily in the present moment simply by remembering that I already have more than enough to be happy.
- True Love
- Loving Speech and Deep Listening
- Nourishment and Healing
The Five Awarenesses
1. We are aware that all generations of our ancestors and all future generations are present in us.
2. We are aware of the expectations that our ancestors, our children, and their children have of us.
3. We are aware that our joy, peace, freedom, and harmony are the joy, peace, freedom, and harmony of our ancestors, our children, and their children.
4. We are aware that understanding is the foundation of love.
5. We are aware that blaming and arguing never help us and only create a wider gap between us. Only understanding, trust, and love can help us change and grow.
The fourth awareness tells us that where there is understanding, there is love. When we understand someone’s suffering, we’re motivated to help, and the energies of love and compassion are released.
French poet René Char said, “If you can dwell in one moment, you will discover eternity.”
