Why it’s time to say goodbye to comparison (for now)

Lately I’ve been struggling with the one thing that is sure to suck the life out of any confidence, joy, steadfastness, freedom, etc that I’ve cultivated. The one thing that is certain to stun my sense of lightness and connection in an instant. The one thing that calls forth judgment and negative feelings and cripples me to inaction and anxiety.

That one thing is comparison.

I truly believe that comparison is the root of all suffering. Comparison strips our confidence. Comparison shackles us to our ego and our judging minds. Comparison freezes us from creating the life we’re made for. Comparison is nothing more than judgment in disguise.

“Comparison is the death of joy.” — Mark Twain

When we become so fixated on what someone else is doing, we hand over our power on a silver platter and say “here, you take this. I don’t deserve it anymore.”

Why do we do this time and time again?

Because we’re humans.

It’s natural to compare. It’s natural to judge. It’s our default, crazy enough.

But even so, just think, how much more amazing we would feel if we dialed down the comparison and dialed up our joy? Dialed down the negative self talk and dialed up the self love?

What if we unapologetically rocked out our TRUEST, most vibrant selves without a care in the world for what the person next to us was doing? How good would that feel? Pretty damn good.

Today, it’s so challenging to stay rooted and grounded in our center. To be lighthearted and resolute without the self-sabotaging “Ya, buts…” and constant comparison.

It seems that our self-worth is measured in likes and shares and our identity is anchored in promotions and publicity.

When it’s so much easier to see ourselves as less-than, how can we stay focused on manifesting our life’s work? How can we stay confident in our abilities? When we’re so absorbed with what someone else has and what we sure as hell don’t, how can we look in the mirror and say to ourselves, “You’re absolutely magnificent and I love you”?

The other day we were watching The Defiant Ones (new show that tells the story of Dr. Dre and Jimmy Iovine) and Jimmy gave the perfect analogy for what I’ve been thinking for so long. In case you don’t know (because I didn’t), Jimmy is the Co-Founder of Interscope records where he produced records for Tom Petty, Patti Smith, Bruce Springsteen (among many others), is the co-creator of Beats headphones, and much, much more. Badass for sure.

Anyways, Jimmy says he doesn’t care one bit what other people think about what he’s doing/creating. In fact, he doesn’t give a f***.

He then brings up this racehorse example. He says,“When you’re a race horse, the reason they put blinders on these things is because if you look at the horse on the left or the right, you’re going to miss a step. That’s why the horses have blinders on. And that’s what people should have. When you’re running after something, you should not look left or right — what does this person think, what does that person think? No. Go.”

This really stuck with me.

Countless stories and occasions flashed before my eyes of times where I was SO committed and excited about manifesting a dream or a trip I wanted to take or an experience I wanted to create. The feeling of being deeply intertwined with the particular thing as if it had already happened and I was a living, breathing expression of it. As if I could walk right up to someone and share all the details of this new thing. But I actually never did it.

The thing that I so desired and was so committed to fluttered through my fingertips like vapor. Its one life prominently inscribed in my journal, a constant reminder of what never came to be. A constant reminder of where I let myself get in the way.

Has this ever happened to you?

Have you ever fallen prey to comparison? To allowing judgment and negative self talk prevent you from charging forward for your dreams? Have you ever seen other people living the life you want and decide how amazing they are and how behind you are?

I have. And it’s one of the most challenging things to overcome.

Comparison and judgment are the root of all suffering.

Comparison strips your power. It zaps you of any will or strength you once had and cripples you to inaction. Comparison separates you from your highest self.

I don’t want to be separated from my highest self any longer.

Let’s rewrite comparison’s story

Instead of our story starring comparison and inaction and anxiety and low self esteem, let’s make courage and gratitude and clarity and love our shining stars.

Let’s connect more with spirit and less with our judging minds. Let’s witness the strengths in others and also the strengths within ourselves.

When we connect with spirit, when we connect with our inner wisdom and our deepest truths, there is no room for comparison. There is no room for judgment. We witness.

Our mind is like a cool, cerulean lake. The wind may blow and our waters may ripple, but we do not spiral into mini typhoons of comparison and negative self talk. We remain anchored in our intentions and pursuits. We remain anchored in our awareness. We do not let comparison take us for a joy ride.

The moment we tiptoe down the path of comparison and let it steer our ship is the moment we splinter ourselves and hand over our power.

Instead of comparing, comparing, comparing, let’s stop. Let’s remind ourselves that we are no better than anyone and no one is better than us.

Every opportunity that enters your path is an opportunity to re-awaken and grow. Forgive yourself for the times you spent comparing and congratulate yourself for acknowledging that you’re ready to leave comparison in the past. And when you do tip toe down the path of comparison again–and by the way, you will–be compassionate with yourself.

Every day is an opportunity to grow. Every moment is an opportunity to re-awaken.

The moment we wake up again and bring ourselves back into our Truth is the moment we step back into our power. Living from a place of comparison is joy-less and powerless. Living from our Truth is infinite and medicinal.

You already have exactly what you need. Now, go–with blinders on.

Have questions or stories you want to share? I’d love to chat.