The Donald Trump of dating
Sometimes it takes a dick pic to tell how much of a dick a person is.
When I started my previous blog, I meant to write about the funny / weird / absurd / creepy people I come across on a dating app. Well that went well, until I fell in love with one, and then it became a blog of my failed romance. Anyhow, as if it’s meant to be, I’m back in the game, meeting more weird / absurd / creepy people.
I don’t want to write about every date anymore, nobody wants to hear about the normal ones, I figured. Not to my surprise, the weirdos are still there, and some of them are quite amusing indeed.
I have been chatting with this guy for a couple of days. Let’s call him Mr Trump of the dating world. He started off being quite flirty, but he also had some interesting things to say, so I kept on. I figured Mr T is a bit of a narcissistic and full of himself, sometimes I’d play along, but most of the time I’d just say something to crush that superficial arrogance that underlies his lack of confidence. The more I challenged him, the more he seemed intrigued by it, so I went on.
One thing that finally set my alarm bells off, was when he got all presumptuous and forward about his sexual fantasies with me. So being the 2.0 version that I vowed to be with my brutally honest self, I told him to stop doing that or I will stop responding. I told him directly that I am not an object, I am a person with my own will, and when he talked as if I was someone who would let him do whatever he wants to me just because he wanted to, it made me feel disrespected and uncomfortable. He seemed to have understood my boundaries, so we kept on chatting. I was quite proud of myself for being composed while completely honest at the same time.
Until this happened…
Mr T asked me to send more photos of myself, I reluctantly obliged, but I did not send anything that shows too much skin. I took it as my responsibility to not send anything too sexy if I don’t want to be sexualised. He immediately started making comments on my appearance, and made a borderline racist comment about the size of my boobs. I got quite pissed and told him to stop commenting on my physical appearance as if I was a piece of meat, or as if he was choosing a pet from the pet shop. I got back at him by saying (thought it was a great come back btw),
“How does that make you feel if I say that you probably have a small dick because you’re English?”
It was meant to prove a point, obviously, but he deliberately took it the wrong way. The next thing I knew, I received my first ever unsolicited dick pic, BECAUSE he was childish enough to want to show me that it’s not the case, and he tried to excuse himself by saying that he’s a forward person. I told him off immediately in the most calm and composed way possible, and I also told him to stop making excuses for being disrespectful.
It’s not the dick pic itself that’s horrifying, I mean, it’s a picture after all and it’s not like I haven’t seen one. It’s the act of doing that which says a lot about this person, and all the other guys who go around sending unsolicited dick pics, because he surely isn’t the only one. I’ve heard enough from friends that I know that it’s common.
Men who are able to do something like that are entitled and disrespectful. They might say they have a lot of respect for women (“Nobody has more respect for women than I do.” - quote from the real Donald Trump), but their actions say otherwise.
Nobody asked them to send those pics. They just assumed that they can get away with it, or that for some reason people would want to sleep with them because of that. I can’t say it doesn’t work for people with boundary issues, but it certainly does not work for me. The same way as Mr T assuming that I’d sleep with him just because HE wanted to, just because he wanted something he’s also ENTITLED to it.
But suddenly I realised one thing, I knew from the beginning that he is narcissistic and pushy, I tried to set my boundaries but at the end of the day, his issues are not mine to fix, and if that’s the kind of person he is I can’t expect him to change.
The only thing I can do is to run away, as fast as I can. I consider myself quite lucky that it was the first unsolicited dick pic I have ever received, and I certainly hope that it’s going to be the last one.
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