5 reasons Why You Would Regret Missing Out on Listen Out 2022:
So, I heard that 2022 was going to be your ‘year of no regrets’? Well missing Listen Out 2022 is a FOMO that lasts.
1. Imagine telling your kids that you heard Roddy Ricch play ‘The Box’ live:
It’s year 2047. A young girl sits in her room, “vintage” Trippie Redd posters hanging on her wall, Roddy Ricch’s ‘The Box’ plays from her iPhone 41, as she utters to herself that she was “born in the wrong generation”.
Look, it’s going to be a struggle to convince your future kids you were cool once. And whilst I can’t say I’ve been skinny dipping, or taken my dad’s car for a joyride, I can say that I was ‘Ballin’ with Roddy (… *in the crowd, from 10 meters away*) and had Trippie Redd sing a love letter he wrote ‘4’ me (… *and everyone else in the crowd*… but again; minor details).
As much as I’m sure you LOVE watching Instagram stories of other people having fun, Listen Out 2022’s spectacular line-up will be like a kick to the gut to miss.
2. Prove that your city is in fact, better than Melbourne:
Besides coffee, fashion, and literally everything else, Melbournians have proven that they don’t come to play. The unbelievable turn out at Listen Out 2022 might just mean they have the greatest music scene too… Unless…Sydney, Brisbane, Perth — Do you love the music just as much as Melbourne?
Because Catani Gardens was packed to the hilt with Melbournians ready to put the other cities to shame. And unlike how my mother SWEARS she loves all her children equally, I distinctly remember BBNO$ opening his set by declaring that Melbourne is his “favourite” city.
I’d dare you to change his mind, but you would have to be at Listen Out to do that.
So, for now, Melbourne remains.
3. Listen Out is better than a 4D Avengers movie:
Remember those Nickelodeon cross-over episodes where you saw iCarly and Victorious casts mashed together into one epic 30-minutes, that would make your 7-year-old-self pass out? For those of us whose parents refused to let us get Foxtel, Listen Out can do you one better.
Imagine hearing The Jungle Giants play ‘She’s a Riot’ live, only then to hear AJ Tracey play ‘Butterflies’?! And just when you thought it couldn’t get better… Culture Shock defibrillates you onto another planet.
Because you thought that seeing Iron Man, The Hulk and Spiderman in one movie was cool? Ha! Try seeing AJ Tracey, Tove Lo, Meduza and Central Cee, in one, epic, 10-hour, music extravaganza!!! And *spoiler alert* — it happened. And it was epic. All your heroes in one place. This time, close enough to touch.
4. Nothing like the last two years to remind you that life is unpredictable:
In the time it took Disclosure to return to Australia: One Direction broke up, an orange man was the President of the United States, Ricky Martin has been ‘Livin La Vida Loca’ in jail, and you are weirdly happy going to bed at 9:30? Sorry what?
I bet your dad would have bought Tupac tickets if only he knew (*Suge Knight did it*), and I will live forever haunted for saying “maybe next year” when Avicii went on tour.
This time, you can bet your ass that I won’t be adding James Hype to that list.
5. Take back a little power from what 2020 stole:
Whilst I imagine baking homemade sourdough and doing 1000-piece puzzles for the last two years was an absolute riot, the time has come to put the knitting needles away. Because your sourdough is more able to cause blunt-force trauma than taste like Martha Stewart’s, and you only made it 4-pages into ‘The Secret’ before you got bored and gave up.
Because we were not made to sit still.
No one remembers the time they were “a very responsible adult” and “went to bed early” because they “had work the next day”. But no one forgets hearing Disclosure close their set with ‘Latch’, a song we first downloaded from Limewire.
Because let’s be honest: home [on a Friday night] is NOT where the heart is. MY heart lives in the moshpit. After two years of sitting still, after two years of silence, I am leaving no memories unmade.
So, when you’re ready to stop living life through your old camera roll, snag a ticket for Listen Out. I’ll be waiting for you in the moshpit.
