The 7 Music Stans We All Know And Love
Having an enormous love for a certain artist is what makes seeing them live all the more special. The urban term for this religious following of a musician or band is called being a “stan”.
Someone could sell air from an artist’s concert and a stan would buy it, this actually happened.
Since it might be a while until we see these “stans” at festivals or concerts again, we thought it’d be a great time to talk about how some certain artist’s stans operate in life.
The Kanye Stan
The Yeezy stan. We all either know one, or are one (me), there’s no real in between.
There is such a vast range of Kanye stans it’s not funny. You could be the stan that ranks his albums when no-one asks, or you could be the troll who loves commenting “he made that bitch famous” on Taylor Swift fan pages. Kanye stans are one and many, and these are the kinds of things you find them doing or saying:
A Kanye fan will be on a first date and open with; “Yeah I really do think 808’s was more for the culture and changed more of what rap is today, that’s why it’s superior to MBDTF, hot take but that’s my opinion, what do you think? haha”.
“Nah I swear I don’t watch ‘Keeping Up With The Kardashians’ bro, I really don’t know how that came up in my YouTube recommendations hey”
No-one
Absolutely No-one
Kanye Stan:
<Proceeds to list and rank every Kanye album, and then changes the order right after with a detailed justification>
“Bro the Yeezus Tour was life changing, the production, the minimalism….like I just don’t look at things the same anymore, it was like an out of body experience man”, were the words of every Ye fan that witnessed his last tour in 2014.
And they (we) are begging for another Australian tour to happen in the near future.
The Frank Ocean Stan
The extremely talented Frank Ocean has one of the strongest fan bases in Australia, even though he still hasn’t made it up to us since cancelling back in 2013.
The creator of what is dubbed by many as “the sad album” in his 2016 album, ‘Blond’. If your mate shares any song from ‘Blond’ on his/her story, you should probably ask if everything is okay.
How to spot a Frank Ocean stan? Easiest way of spotting an OG Frank stan is by spotting them wearing any piece of Odd Future clothing. The other is by spotting them writing statuses on Facebook on how fucking good the beat switch on Nights is.
Not only his stans, but any music lover in Australia wants him to perform a few shows on our shores one day though.
The Tame Impala Stan
“Do you know that Tame Impala is just Kevin Parker and Pond? Kevin is a musical genius; he does all the music production and vocals and just gets Pond to play the music that he gives them”. If you know anyone that says this, you indeed know a Tame Impala stan.
Tame Impala stans were buzzing when ‘The Less I Know the Better’ won the hottest 100 of the decade. Even though most of them probably would’ve said, “it’s not even Kevin’s best work haha”.
These stans claim they listen to underground music, and most definitely have a “really indi” collection of vinyls. These vinyls including, Pink Floyds ‘Dark Side of the Moon’, Joy Divisions ‘Unknown Pleasures’ and their very own ‘Currents’ by Tame Impala.
This stan is usually found in their natural habitat; looking for corduroy jackets in Op shops.
The Harry Styles Stan
This certain type of stan, is just the 9 to 13-year-old girl who was a big one direction fan back in the day and now has grown up a little bit. This stan can usually be found in their habitat; on social media making tik toks on why Harry should be her husband.
Harry Styles announced an Australian tour just last month (that sold out in hours in major cities), and I’m 100% sure these stans would’ve sold their first born for a chance at getting a ticket.
The day to day activities of these fans, consist usually of making their boyfriends feel guilty that they’re not Harry Styles, watching Harry Styles interviews, and replying to texts late because they’re watching ‘One Directions Complete X Factor Journey’ on YouTube.
The Tyler, The Creator Stan
Other than waiting around for winter so they can wear long pants and cuff them, the Tyler The Creator stan spends most of their time on social media debating which album is his best.
It’s usually a case of OG Tyler stans from his earlier work of Goblin and Bastard fighting against the new age of stans that have come into their obsession with Tyler with his later work in Flowerboy and IGOR. All of the Tyler stans though, either are, or try super hard to be edgy.
The Tyler stan 100% owns a pair of converses, and most likely have a collection of Golf shirts. They also would’ve been out in force at Tyler’s Australian festival tour in 2019, when he appeared on Australian shores for the first time since getting his 2015 ban lifted.
Anyone who got a word wrong when singing in those mosh pits would’ve been ambushed by a bunch of dudes and chicks in Golf shirts asking the victim what Tyler’s last name is.
The Eminem Stan
Ahh the original stan. The man who literally invented the term. And yes as you would guessed, Eminem stans are probably the most annoying of them all.
How to piss of an Eminem stan? Just show them the ‘2016 XXL Freshman Cypher’ on YouTube. They’ll watch like 5 seconds of the stuff and straight away be enticed to scream out loud, “mumble rap is garbage!”.
As Eminem is much older than the other artists mentioned apart from Kanye, his stans are quite the much older as well. This making them the perfect target on social media for trolls who just want to get a funny reaction from them.
The easiest way to spot an Eminem stan on Facebook, is to look if they’ve posted the exact same profile picture 15 times accidentally. Also, they probably have an Eminem quote in their bio.
Eminem, though having one of the most fucking annoying fanbases, could have a case for the biggest fanbase in Australia. This evidence coming from his record breaking MCG performance in 2019, which consisted of 80,000 plus fans.
The Billie Eilish Stan
Oh yes, the newest stan on the block. Ever be talking to a person and hear them say “queen” like four times in one sentence, yes this is the first sign of a Billie Eilish stan.
The huge stan following Billie has in Australia made way for some insane shows last year, including solo shows as well as at festivals such as; Groovin The Moo.
If you were at Groovin The Moo last year, you would’ve seen the huge packs of recently turned Goth Girls coming towards the mosh when Billie was about to perform.
Felt a tap on your shoulder at GTM? You most likely were tapped on the shoulder by a Billie stan who wanted to borrow one of your ciggies for an edgy photo. Don’t worry though, they didnt smoke it, they just used it for the the “aestethic”.
People who stan Billie, are a bit like vegans, they don’t really shut up about it. You can find them saying phrases like “I’m probably more depressed than you hey”, and “I’m so fucking stoked Bad Guy won the hottest 100”.
Jokes aside, we miss seeing every one of these stans out and about at music festivals and concerts, the fact an artist can make you feel this way is pretty epic and we’re all for it. We hope to be seeing you all soon representing your faves once this shitty situation is over
And another one as a bonus — The Triple J Stan
“Haha do you know of a band called Ocean Alley? You probably don’t hey, only some know them, my music taste is probably better than yours to be honest”.
Does this sound like someone you know? If so, it sounds like you’ve come across a wild Triple J stan. Make sure you compliment them on their super cool Skeggs shirt, or they’ll get mad.
“Nah bro, I’ll never listen to a Sticky Fingers song again, when they came on in the hottest 100 of the decade I muted the speaker”.
And when Triple J stans get mad, they usually just go on Facebook and abuse the song Dance Monkey for being overplayed. Gives ‘Tones and I’ a break for now brother, is everything all good at home?
These stans can usually be spotted from afar, they are usually wearing a train conductor hat and have a nose piercing.
Okay we agree with you, Ruby Fields is pretty fucking good, there’s no need to rant about it on Facebook though love, chill.
All respect to this stan though, because festivals wouldn’t be the same without them.
