Empathy vs. Sympathy: What’s the Difference?
You’ve heard the two words, and possibly used them interchangeably. But empathy and sympathy are entirely different forms of expression.
Sympathy is the feeling that you care about — and are sorry about — another person’s misfortune or situation. It’s about being compassionate and making it known that you’re aware of another person’s distress. Sympathetic people often think they understand what it feels like to go through something and often focus on how to fix the problem.
Empathy, on the other hand, is the ability to understand someone’s feelings. Being empathetic enables you to share in another person’s emotions and experiences. It’s a spiritual tool that is grounded in connectedness and oneness.
When we talk about improving our wellbeing, we want to become more empathetic instead of sympathetic. Expressing sympathy often leaves the other person feeling like you’ve taking pity on them or feel sorry for them.
So instead of saying “I’m so sorry for your loss,” try saying “I feel your grief.” Don’t say “It could be worse…,” try “I’ve been there, and that really hurts.” You can even say “I don’t know what to say, but I’m really glad you told me.”
Developing empathy takes work and practice. To start, you have to find spiritual harmony and security in the uncertain world that we live in. Once you believe you are one with other people, when you’re hopeful and secure, you realize why it’s important to practice empathy.
You have to put your judgements aside and tune into your own feelings to understand someone else’s. Don’t be sympathetic and simply offer generic support or put a silver lining on the issue, be empathetic and feel with people by connecting with them through shared experiences.
When listening to others, be present, ask probing questions and drop the advice. Perform selfless acts to give you a sense of purpose, fullness and unconditional love. Who knows, you might even learn something about yourself as you work to understand another’s emotions.
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Dr. Daniel Sadigh is a clinical psychologist specializing in Marriage and Family Therapy. He is the founder of Wheel of Wellbeing which helps clients achieve well being by providing tools for living a balanced life. He is also the founder of All in Health Foundation, a non-profit organization that trains therapy interns to conduct in-home counseling for inner cities. Dr. Sadigh resides in Los Angeles with his wife, Bonnie. To schedule a consultation with Dr. Sadigh visit his website here.
