When Desperation Meets Opportunity Chapter 18 — A #NaNoWriMo 2015 Story
Chapter 18 — Maggie
I awaken to the snapping of fingers. My shoulder and backs ache, and my eyes feel heavy and tired. As I open them, I am disoriented by my current surroundings. Finally, I set my eyes on him. That boy who left me to pursue his own dreams and ambitions. The boy who left Brayden and I to fend for ourselves. Here he is — a man. A man who is apparently in cahoots with Lance. As if I didn’t think I had any emotions left for Jim, hatred is playing itself back into the picture.
I’m currently laying down in the middle of a long hallway. A few people have come and gone, but seem to be minding their own business and not getting too concerned about what is happening at this apartment. Jim is standing over me. The snapping of his fingers has stopped now that he knows I am awake, but he is still standing there, with the same dumb expression on face as I saw when I showed up.
What are we supposed to say to each other? After all of these years, to run into each other, in this situation, under these circumstances? The entire space around me feels heavy, as if I am a hundred feet under water. Finally, his voice attempts to break the tension, if only a little.
“Umm…do you want to come in?” I can tell he is still searching for the words as well. Did he know I was coming? Based on that statement, and the look on his face, I’d guess he is as surprised as me. I nod my head, and to my surprise, he reaches a hand out to help me up. I oblige, taking his hand, and pull myself off the ground. I wobble a bit, but he clutches my arm more strongly and I stabilize. He continues holding my hand as we enter the apartment and take a seat on the couch.
“Can I get you something to drink? I’m not really sure what to say right now, but I know we have some things to talk about.” Some things? Yeah, I’d say we have ‘some things’ to talk about. How about why you left a pregnant woman behind? How about why you are helping a madman torture me by kidnapping my child? I just need to remember, that my only chance of getting Brayden back is to see this through. If that means going along with Jim, then that is what I must do. Funny. Jim helped created Brayden, and now, even though he has wanted nothing to do with my son, is who I need to go through, at least partly, to get him back.
In any case, I nod my head again in approval of the drink offer, and he heads over to his fridge, and retrieves me a bottle of water. I take a few aggressive drinks, and my body starts to feel better almost instantly. Time to talk.
“Please don’t tell me you have anything to do with this crap. Jim please don’t tell me you are why they took my son!” It might be a little too strong off the bat, but I feel ready to explode.
He just looks at me, equally confused and surprised. “Wha…your son? He is gone? I’m completely in shock over all of this. First, you show up. Then, your son? What exactly has been happening with you?” Even now, he takes no ownership over the baby we created. Still refers to Brayden as ‘my son’. Actually, I’m deciding to be happy about that. I am raising him, or at least was.
“If I’m going to talk, you better be following right behind me. I’m the one who is missing my son, and you sure look like a person who would know something about that. But, I’ll start, if you don’t already know. About a month and a half ago, some random guy contact me out of the blue. He had an offer to pay me for helping him with some tasks. It started simply enough — I just had to bail some presumably wrongfully accused guy out of jail. Then, after that, my life went to hell. I was supposed to steal a laptop from some doctor, but when I decided not to, this crazy person reacted by killing my mom and kidnapping my son. I’ve been blindly following what he has been saying ever since to get a shot at getting my Brayden back.” Retelling the story out loud chokes me up, but I powered through. “Your turn.” I stare as hard as I can back at him, trying to read his face. It would seem that everything I said would be the first time he heard it.
“Maggie, I’m…. I”m so sorry. Oh my God. What is going on? Maggie, I just…” He puts his head in his hands. Maybe he isn’t involved in the way I thought? “That is really awful. I just can’t believe that we were who he picked. I’ve been doing the same things — completing simple tasks for money. But nothing that crazy has happened. In fact, he almost seemed to be helping me out. I was feeling quite desperate, and this situation came along at the perfect time. I had no idea this guy was involved in murder or kidnapping. Oh my God. I really don’t know what to say to you right now.”
This is getting too strange now. He was given tasks to complete as well? Why did he choose us? Could it be that, because of our connection, he could play us off each other if need be? Was it really completely random? I am hoping for one shot to see Lance and look him in the eye, and if all goes well, try and kill him. If anything happens to my son, I will make it my life’s mission. What else would I have to live for?
Jim wipes his eyes — showing more emotion than I ever remember from our 3 years together. “Right now, you are supposed to give me something to go through with my next task. I can understand if you don’t want to knowing it is me, but I promise you, I knew nothing about your son. Nothing!” In this moment, right now, I see the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. Strong and emotional.
I reach into my pocket, and remove Xang’s name badge, handing it to him. As I do, I hesitate, with an urgent thought entering my brain. “Jim, we had to steal that badge. The man who owns it must know it is missing by now. I don’t even know if it works or not anymore. It was supposed to happen discreetly, but lately all I ever do is screw things up. I failed Brayden.” This realization hits me hard. I never considered until now the potential that we would hit this roadblock.
“Hmm…well when I talk to Mr. Man, I will see what our options are.” The weirdness continues. He also used the ‘Mr. Man’ name with Jim. However, I now know something that Jim doesn’t — Mr. Man’s real name. Not that it makes a bit of difference right now, but it might. My main concern is on whether or not this badge will work for Jim.
Like clockwork, Jim’s phone starts ringing. It was just too perfect of timing, until I remembered that I still have my phone on me, and Dr. Yonowitz had told me that I was being listened to and tracked through it. I wonder if Jim knows that yet? In any case, he is off into the other room to answer it. The conversation begins while I am still on the couch, so I can’t quite hear everything that is being said.
What did I do in a previous life to deserve this? It is already bad enough to be missing my son, but to have to work with Jim? That is just cruel and unusual. But at least, given our conversation so far, it doesn’t appear that Jim had anything to do with Brayden going missing. I’m not ready to trust him quite yet, but my anger is subsiding. After around ten minutes, Jim emerges from the bedroom.
“He wants to tell you thanks for getting the badge. He knows it wasn’t easy, and actually applauded your quick thinking to realize it might be deactivated now that they know it is missing.” Oh good. Nothing better than approval from the insane ‘Mr. Man’. “But he just walked me through how I can make it is reactivated. It is going to take some time. You are welcome to stay here, though, as long as you need. I know you don’t trust me, like me, or probably even want me alive. But I need to help you make this right. I need to help get Brayden back. It doesn’t come close to making up for the last four years. It kills me to face you now and realize what I gave up on and what I left behind. If there was some way to go back and do it over, I’d like to think I’d make the right choice this time.”
The sincerity and offer is admirable. To be honest, I’m completely exhausted and had no intention of going anywhere for a while. Not until we see this through. “Well, Jim. You can’t turn back the clocks. We don’t get do overs in life. I don’t have the choice to not get pregnant. I don’t have the choice to turn down Mr. Man and not play his game. We’ve both made our beds, and we both have to lie in them. But, maybe, if this all works out, we can try and find some common ground. A boy deserves to know his father. Even if you don’t care about me, you owe it to my son, our son, to be a part of his life.” And with that, as childish as it may seem, I lay down on the couch and face the back. I’m done looking at Jim for a while. He reminds me too much of the things I’m angry about. He reminds me too much of my mistakes. He reminds me too much of what I’ve lost.
After all, looking at him is like looking at Brayden.
