5 Lifestyle Changes That Will Actually Move the Needle

It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow— so let’s talk about the one love that should last a lifetime — you.

How many times you heard the advice, “take a bath, listen to soft music, drink a glass of wine and relax?” Without data, this sounds lovely but with data, as might as well go to the bar, get rip roaring drunk and make out with the hot cowboy at the bar. That will at least be more fun.

Avoid the whole bath and wine scene sold as “self-love” this Valentine’s Day and here is why:

1. taking a hot bath right before bed which will increase your core body temperature and resting heart rate,
2. drinking wine will further increase your resting heart rate and negate any heart rate variability progress you’ve made,
3. and while you think you fall asleep faster, you will also sleep like shit — with zero recovery gains made,
4. besides you’ll set off an unfavorable chain of hormone dysregulation that will make losing weight and managing stress more difficult.

Got your attention right?

Here are 5 long-term ways you can actually show yourself some real love (with all the details behind it):

1. Stop Dieting

You need to change your mindset around food. All diets are cults. Stop counting calories or eliminating food groups.

Quality Matters: It is a fuel source and your body is a Ferrari. What would you feed a Ferrari if you want it to perform like a Ferrari? Pro-Tip: The closer to natural the food source, the higher the quality. The longer the list of ingredients, the lower the quality.

Portions Matter: Most people have no clue how much they eat but the good news is you don’t need a food scale. If you have a hand, you can gauge your portion sizes. I’ll explain more below.

Eat All Macros: All foods are made up of macro and micro nutrients. Macros are Protein, Carbs and Fat. Alcohol is also considered a Macro and it’s unique properties place it between a Carb and Fat. Micros are all the vitamins and minerals. You need both and best to eat your micronutrients vs supplement for them (with some exceptions).

Here is your cheat sheet:

A. Protein — 3 ounces of protein is the size of a deck of cards or the palm of your hand (exclude fingers). You should eat a MINIMUM of 3 ounces of protein per meal. Why three? This gets you anywhere between 20–24 grams of protein per meal. If you eat 3 meals per day, that is only 60–72 grams of protein per day. It’s not enough protein but hey, baby steps.

Another reason why you want to clear the 20–24 gram protein minimum per meal is that is about how much protein you need for your body get enough leucine, an amino acid that helps you maintain muscle. More muscle, faster metabolism, more calories burned. Science. It’s like magic but real.

B. Carbs — Make a fist. Look at your hand. Your entire fist is 1 cup. Half of the fist is 1/2 cup. How I monitor this? Before or after exercise I have 1 cup. If I didn’t work out or it is later in the day, I have half a cup.

C. Fat. Look at your thumb. The upper part of your thumb (a little under the first joint) is 1 tablespoon. I will still eat an entire avocado because YOLO.

Summary: Eat 3–4 times a day. Manage your portions. No more food scales or counting. Look at your hand for portion size help. Choose natural foods aka if it has chemicals or a long list of ingredients then avoid or make your own at home. I also personally avoid snacking. It is bad advice unless you have low blood sugar.

2. Walk at Least 1 Hour Per Day

It all comes down to NEAT (Non-exercise activity thermogenesis). Everyone thinks that if they cannot make it to the gym every day, then all bets are off but this couldn’t be further from the truth.

Working out at high intensity levels sets off a stress chain reaction that most people are not ready for out of the gate. You want to build up to that but if you are starting a program, slow and steady wins the race.

I see this with myself. I’ll train 2 hours a day and then sit in front of a computer for 10 hours. It is AWFUL! It’s like driving a car at 100 mph and the slamming the brakes and then parking it in a garage. You need to commit to moving all day.

Tips:

Do more walking or stationary bike meetings both at work and with friends

Stand up every hour and go for a 5–10 minute walk to decompress. You can send replies to email by doing voice to text.

3. Delay Caffeine to Mid-Morning

When you drink coffee or caffeine, that caffeine doesn’t actually give you more energy. It simply blocks a receptor in the brain that tells your brain you are tired. There are a lot of other benefits to caffeine, but if you want to manage stress levels, then spiking your cortisol as soon as you wake up, is not the way to go.

Your body, is going to naturally spike cortisol between 8–10 AM. Unless you have some kind of adrenal issue, this is universal for all of us. You don’t need help during this time as your body is going to do it’s thing. It will slowly begin to dip well into the evening which tells your brain it is time for bed.

I noticed that if I delayed my caffeine till after 10 AM, I got to ride that caffeine high wave well into mid-afternoon. In other words, one cup of coffee is enough caffeine.

Why this matters? The more caffeine, the more jacked up your body is on chemicals and the harder it is to sleep at night. Coffee is a habit you’ve created in your mind and I get it. I remember when my doctor friend told me I’d get a lot further in my health journey if I cut out my Cuban lattes from my breakfast. It took me 3 years to listen to her and realize she was right.

Alternative if you just love the taste of coffee in the AM — make decaf or half caf or switch to lower caffeine alternatives like tea or cacao.

4. Get At Least 30 minutes of Sunlight Per Day

You are human but you are also a mammal created for this planet and this planet has a rhyme and reason. We forget that we are to live in harmony with nature and that maybe the reason why we sometimes feel bad is because we have lost our way with nature — either by destroying it or forgetting it even exists.

What does sunlight do? According Andrew Huberman, viewing sunlight in the morning causes 50% increased in circulating coristol, epinephrine and dopamine. This is important to keep in mind with what I said about coffee. You wake up, stay inside your little cave called home or office and you make a cup of coffee. Then you sit at a computer for 8–10 hours and you see sunlight when you go to the mailbox or take the dog out for a walk. What are you doing? Seriously. Even plants need sunlight.

5. Shoot for 8 Hours of Sleep

I am militant about my sleep schedule. So militant that when I came back to Dialexa and started working with my new boss I gave him my rules for engagement. DO NOT CALL ME PAST 8 PM UNLESS IT IS AN EMERGENCY. Because I’m also a people pleaser, I added him to my Favorites so he can bypass Do Not Disturb in the event of an emergency. Why such hard and fast rules?

The unwinding process should start at least 2–3 hours before bed. Just how sunlight increases neurotransmitters there is one important molecule you need in order to fall asleep, which Huberman advises you do not take over the counter — melatonin. [Melatonin will impact your sex and stress hormones and it is advised you do not take and learn to use your own body’s chemical production ability to make.]

Melatonin also responds to light. It is advised that you begin dimming the lights around you 2–3 hours before bed. If I have to work late, I dim my computer to a more yellow/red tone. I wear blue light blocker glasses and try to avoid looking at blue light screens when possible. I also avoid anything that will activate my nervous system such as TV, social media, and unsettling conversations.

My sleep onset is usually <10 minutes. I typically sleep through the night without a problem and I wake up at 5:30 AM to get ready for training.

If I’m not sleeping well, i.e. waking up in the middle of the night thinking, pissed off or reliving life experiences, it means I’m doing something wrong. I’m either not handling stress well, I’ve avoiding difficult conversations, I’m not following my wind down routine, I’m eating like crap, I had too much caffeine or it’s a Full Moon [f*cking gravity].

It sounds like a lot but as someone who worked against herself most of her life, suffered unnecessarily thinking I was making good choices and still wants to perform optimally, these 5 things actually moved the needle in terms of how I show up for myself. It also helps me show up for others in a healthy and productive way.

I’ll also go into more details tomorrow on the Joyful Purpose podcast hosted by Kathy McCabe. Here I’ll be talking about HRV and using a continuous glucose monitor to optimize my stress and energy levels.