Day 42: Testimony Meeting, Sea of Galilee, 2012

On the shore of waters Jesus is said to have calmed, I told the truth the best I knew how.

I said I knew — not that any being existed, not that any words were true, not that any relationships could be forever, but that I’d felt certain things, warm and inspiring and redemptive.

I said I believed — that certain things did exist, were true, and could be forever, based on the feelings I felt.

And when Brother (and Professor) Harper came up behind me, there in the sand and the darkness and the flickering firelight, and told me, “I’ve been waiting for someone to say that,” I felt right, I felt true, I felt peace, be still.

Like I said, the truth the best I knew how to tell. It took me 24 years to figure out believing. It’d take me two more to figure out wanting.

(This is Day 42 of a 100-day project. For more about When I Was Mormon, read the introductory post. To access older posts, visit the archive.)