Day 93: My bosom be burned

The feeling most frequently associated with Mormon testimony is a “burning in the bosom.” If you look past the antiquated phrasing, I think most of us will discover a familiar thing: that warmth which spreads through your core at particularly emotion-filled moments.

Or, in my case, when I’m cold. I’ll explain.

As a Mormon none too confident in his testimony, I always searched desperately for spiritual confirmation of my faith — which meant soaking up every instance of bosom-burning I could reasonably link to things religious (sappy TV ads didn’t count).

As I got older, however, an unpleasant idea arose, like an unwanted Jack from a box that just wouldn’t stuff back in: was I feeling this burning-bosom thing more frequently when it was chilly in my room?

And yes, it did seem to me to be so — this warming sensation came most easily when my body needed warming.

Well, fuck.

(This is Day 93 of a 100-day project. For more about When I Was Mormon, read the introductory post. To access older posts, visit latest stories and scroll down.)