I tend to notice patterns in people and then compare them.

Today’s observation was based on years of seeing Black men offer up a laundry list of reasons why Black women are no good, need fixing, are single, are single moms, are not married or “can’t keep a man”.

I’ve noticed that the majority of men I’ve come across that feel these things are “mama’s boys”. There’s a few streams of similarities that they all share. “Mama’s boy” carries several definitions and descriptions but the one I’m referring to is reserved for men who simply will not or cannot cut the apron strings from their mothers.

It makes me wonder if they watched their mother’s failed relationships so closely that it lead them to believe women really weren’t good enough. Maybe they were bitter because they felt their mom’s chased their dads away. Or maybe their mothers showered them with praise and promises of every woman not being good enough for her baby that they truly believe it. It’s one thing to just be an arrogant jerkface but it’s a huge beast to really embrace your entitlement that you aren’t truly aware that you possess. It’s a strange relationship; mother’s and their sons that they hold so closely. Many of the ones I’m familiar with will treat their mothers much like a man often would treat his wife. Nothing is good enough for their mama. That can really toe the line between sweet and creepy.

I once shared the unpopular opinion of taking mothers off their pedestals. All of the Mama’s Boys got mad at me. That’s okay. They were showing me their entire hand without realizing it. I’m not saying men should disrespect their mothers or treat them like they’re “everyone else”. You absolutely should not do that. My mother is very important to me. But I am an adult and it’s a very honest reality that my mother will get old and die. If I was stuck under her bosom for my whole life I may be completely alone when she’s gone. Then what do I do? My point was that you can maintain several healthy and loving relationships in your life without sacificing your relationship with your parent(s). I also made the point that parents are not flawless, but that’s another story for another time.

Cut those strings so other people can love you, young man. You’re blocking your own blessings.

❤