Moments

How joy and pain are really the same

Life comes in waves —

Waves of moments.

Moments so extreme they can knock me over.

One moment I feel hopeless, helpless, despair…

These moments tend to follow extreme waves of hope and wishes — lots of fishes — to grow and succeed and

keep going and growing and

never stop.

And then I fall.

Plunge off the ladder’s highest rung

and I bruise pretty bad and it stings

like a jellyfish bite.

I thought I could conquer the world.

Now I want to die?

I escalate. I don’t reach a middle ground

only both ends of the endless of spectrums

always reaching seeking falling hurting dying

oh for god’s sake, I keep trying —

to figure things out to answer the questions

like which shoes match best? and is dating for losers?

How long will THIS moment last?

Do I want it to stay or to falter?

These waves they keep splashing

as I vacillate on.