How Death Gave me the Gift of Life

Sharon Kim
When to Jump
Published in
5 min readMar 8, 2017

Aloha! My name is Sharon Kim and I’m just one 25 year old determined to change the way people fight cancer. Why am I spending all my days working to create awareness when the rest of society is pressuring me with bills and expectations? Because I know how much of a pain in the ass cancer can be. I know what it feels like to be lost and confused about all the medical jargon and regimes. And I don’t want anyone to have to go through what my family and I went through.

When my mom was first diagnosed with uterine sarcoma cancer back in 2014, I had no idea what the word cancer even really meant. I’d heard it thrown around in conversations, but it’s just one of those things you don’t think you’ll ever have to come face to face with (millennial thinking, I guess). I figured cancer was just a bump in the road for my mom and that she’d make it through to inspire others with her story, which is why I filmed the entire journey (featured at the end of this post). Well, little did I know how naive my mentality was when I was thrown head first into the world of cancer, unarmed and unprepared. Right after her diagnosis, she went straight into surgery and then straight into an intensive round of chemotherapy. Everything was happening so fast that it felt like we had no other choice but to go with it. What made the whole experience even more nerve-wracking was that we felt so distant from her oncologist. We were constantly waiting on him to give us answers or to tell us what direction we needed to go in, but it always felt like we’d walk out of her appointments empty-handed. Long story short, she successfully got through chemotherapy and we all thought this whole ordeal was over and done with… but boy were we wrong. The cancer came back three months later and was so aggressive this time around that my mom was sent straight to hospice to pass peacefully. We got to spend two more blissful months with her before she passed away only a few days before my 23rd birthday.

As you can imagine, the loss of my mom took a huge toll on me. So much so that I wasn’t satisfied with just telling people I lost my mom to cancer. I wanted there to be meaning. I wanted justification for her passing. The only way this wouldn’t feel like a loss is if I turned tragedy into inspiration and used my experience to help others facing the same ordeal. I wanted to give other fighters a chance to have a different end to their story.

While I was going through all of this, I felt so alone. I had no idea where to turn to for resources or inspiration and I felt like I had no one to talk to about it all. Caregiving also took up 99% of my time, so I really had no energy or time to go looking for these resources. I wished I had an all-in-one tool that could provide me with a roadmap for this journey. I wished I’d had a planner that could show me what types of things I should be taking notes on, what I should be keeping track of and how to best utilize all this information. CanPlan does not only that, but it also provides daily reminders for positive thinking. It tunes you in to the power of the mind and helps you to take action in the here and now and not dwell on the past or worry about the future. It is everything that I could’ve ever asked for while starting my journey with cancer, and I’m so excited to see the potential impact it’s going to make on the cancer community.

This blog is really going to be about my journey with CanPlan and the emotional rollercoaster that comes along with dream chasing. I will take you through the ups and downs of running a start-up. I will provide you with all the tools necessary to help you overcome your fears and finally start living a life of meaning/purpose. And I will make you believe that you ‘CanPlan’ to do anything you put your heart into.

A little bit more about me? Well, let’s just say that I’m a millennial looking to actually take action in making a positive social impact. I was born and raised on the beautiful island of Oahu and graduated with a BA in Psychology, Business Management & Communications from Santa Clara University. I’m your typical Asian nerd who cares more about my GPA than my relationship status. And yes, I do take pictures of my food. I was class clown in high school so you know I’ll throw in some jokes here and there. I’m very accepting of pity laughs. I’ve worked for various start-up companies in the Silicon Valley and I’ve always had an entrepreneurial mindset, but I’ve always struggled to find passion in what I was doing. Getting up each morning felt like a chore and I found myself constantly waiting for the next Friday or for the next paycheck. Unfortunately, I had to come to the lowest point in my life in order to figure out what it is I truly longed to do in this world. My mom had to die so that I could finally start living… and that is the painful truth I use as fuel to motivate me to do what I do today. I want my story to teach people that they don’t have to wait until tragedy hits to start living a life of meaning and purpose. Don’t live just to live. Find what you love and let it kill you. Stay hungry and stay curious for it. Even if you have to try and fail a million times before you finally get it right… keep going, because that’s far better than living with the guilt of all the “should haves” and “could haves.” Live the best life you possibly can and take action when it comes to your passions. It’s something you will never regret, I promise you.

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