An Open Letter to My Four Year Old.
Dear Amanda aka my chunky monkey aka Mandee aka Chuleta,
As your mother, I never dreamed the amount of joy and excitement you have brought into my life in such a short amount of time. It seemed like only yesterday you were born and now, you’re four years old.
It brings nothing but joy to be able to watch you grow. But it also brings fear to me, because of all the chaos that has been going on in recent; and how crazy and cruel the world could be.
When I look at you, I see how innocent you are. The curiosity that in your eyes, when we’re out and about. The joy you have when I pick up from school or when we have random nights out just you and I. Also the pain you have in your eyes, when you see other kids get picked up by their daddies and you don’t.
I can’t force your father to be there for you, like he should, but I want you to understand that with him not being in your life should not break you. Even though, he’s somewhere out in the world not being able to see you play soccer or dance around the room like a ballerina; doesn’t mean that should feel that you aren’t good enough. Because baby girl…
…YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH!
When you get older, there will be boys or girls that will try to manipulate you into believing that because you are a girl that you can’t do anything or because you’re a young lady of color that you have to be oppressed into thinking these male patriarchal ideas but just know you’re not. You are way more than they know and I don’t ever want to you to think it’s true what they say because it’s not. Like the women that has fought before both of our time, they had fought hard for us to become our own woman. That we don’t have to rely on a man to take care of us and we can make the decision on whatever and whoever we choose in life. So my advice for older Amanda would be:
Don’t oppress yourself in order to make a man or woman to them feel superior than you. Don’t allow no one to tell you that you can’t do anything because you are a girl. Don’t allow yourself to be less than or keep to yourself about your feelings, emotions, or knowledge because someone feels that you don’t have much importance as you should have. You are the most prized possession, that I had brought into this world.
I know when you get older, you most likely won’t take my advice into thought and want to experience the world on your own. But no matter what, mommy will always be here there in case you fall or rise.
I know that the decision in leaving your father, was not only best for myself but for you too. I don’t want you to think that being a woman, you have to become submissive, in order to make others feel better. If they don’t make you happy then they don’t deserve to have you in their lives. You deserve to have that doesn’t think less of you and doesn’t appreciate you for being the amazing four year old that you are.
All I want is for you to have everything that I didn’t get growing up. We may not have much now, but being able to make memories with you and continue to watch you grow would be the greatest success of life.
And if all fails, just watch this video…
I love you my little beauty.
Love Always,
Mommy
