A common feeling that I think many women feel beginning at a very young age is competiveness. More specifically, competiveness with other woman. I remember, even in grade school, it was all about the girl who had the prettiest hair, the best shoes, and so on and so forth. Causing all the other girls in my grade to compete with her. We had to have the same shoes, use the same shampoo, whatever it was. But looking back I realize now that this is such a common occurring thing in the culture of women, someone out there has the best body or the hottest husband, etc. And I NEED to have that or better. I believe it’s in one of the comedian Chris Rock’s older stand up specials where he says something to the effect of, “Women have the potential to literally rule the world, if they could get over how much they hate each other!”

It is so very true, experiencing this competition our entire lives causes many women to become women haters. We hear all the time, “I’m not like other girls.” What does this even mean? Why must we alienate ourselves from our own gender to seem worthy or interesting to someone? When I began to reflect on these things I began to also wonder, where does this competition come from? Who creates it? Why do we even feel the need? And I began to realize, as cliché as it sounds, that this competiveness between women is just one of the many negative effects of raising children but especially females, in a patriarchal society.

The only reason we had to have the best shoes or perfect hair in the fourth grade was to impress the cutest guy in our grade, Ryan. I still remember it to this day, swooning over this cutie and doing everything in our power to get his attention. Which included competing with each other very aggressively, and wearing the best and newest styles. What a patriarchal and capitalist society’s dream! Not only is our worth tied to the affections of this boy but now we are buying things, lots of things, to look the best and impress him. I mean, I’m like 8 years old at this point. Looking back on it now, with the awareness that I have, it’s actually kind of horrifying. I lived and breathed for this little boy back then, I mean we were definitely going to get married and be together for ever and ever. It was very serious (wink wink). And I tore my fellow female classmates and even my FRIENDS down, just so I could be seen in a better light by Ryan.

So really, I guess this article or piece of writing or whatever you consider it to be, is a call to action. Women I beg of you, let’s end this never ending cycle of patriarchal societal standards by coming together, bringing each other up and loving each other as equals and as partners. EMPOWER DON’T COMPETE!

Here’s some tips so we can start empowering each other asap!

Act up! In a patriarchal and capitalist society loving your self, your body and your sisters is a rebellious act!