#FINDINGMYSELF

I have always struggled with my self- image. Always felt like I wasn’t good enough. Wasn’t good enough for my parents, wasn’t good enough for school, wasn’t good enough for myself. I struggled with this since I was a little girl. I didn’t talk much and didn’t have many friends. I would constantly get bullied for being a heavy kid. I would even get bullied at my dad’s house by his wife: she would ask me, “how is anyone ever going to date you if you keep getting bigger and bigger?” As a teenager I didn’t know what to think. I would just look at myself and say “maybe she’s right…I’m huge and not very pretty”. A year ago I decided I didn’t need anyone to be happy. That I was good enough and didn’t care about anyone’s opinion. I decided to eat healthier and start to work out, and make a few changes to my lifestyle. Not because I care how I looked or what people were saying. But because I realized that I loved myself and that I had to make changes to better myself and become the person I wanted to be. I weighted 230 when I started I have lost 50 pounds since the last time I weighted myself. I keep struggling on staying healthy but I keep going to reach my goal.

I’m very body positive, but sometimes people just feel like they need to make a few changes and that’s okay. I know I wanted some change for the better, and that’s okay. That’s just part of finding yourself and learning to love yourself for who you are. No one should set standards or exceptions on what a woman should look like or what anyone should look like. Everyone is unique and beautiful in their own way. And learning to love yourself can help you with your self-esteem, just like it helped me.

On my journey of losing weight I have learned new things about myself, which I didn’t know before. I have learned that I’m very determined. I’m stubborn too, but very responsible. I won’t give up until I get what I want or until I have accomplished the goals I have set for myself. I have also become more social than I was before.

There’s a poem by Frida Kahlo that says “I paint myself because I am so often alone. And because I am subject I know best.” She loved herself and wasn’t embarrassed to show her flaws. Frida embraced her flaws in her paintings. So why should I hide my flaws. If I love myself I should not be scared to show who I really am and be able to embrace my flaws just like Frida did. So i too, took pictures of myself to keep track of my progress.

I used to always ask myself what is self- love? and well what self- love means to me is when you give yourself a break from believing lies people tell you to hurt you. It means you’ll protect your body and emotions from being someone else’s profit. You will treat yourself right. I learned to love myself. I learned to stop listening to people’s rude comments, and do my own thing. Which can often be hard. But I over came it and learned to love myself. So now I want you to be able to look at yourself in front of a mirror and tell yourself that you’re Beautiful and believe it because you are beautiful! We’re all beautiful.