#notfeelingmyself
Have you ever had a bad day and thought to yourself, “I’m just not feeling myself right now!” Whether you’re having a bad hair day, haven’t taken a shower in two days, or just got in a fight with your boss, we all have bad days. Ever stopped and wondered, “I think it’s time for a selfie right about now.” Most people won’t. Why? Well, from my experience when I would take selfies I would take them when I WAS feeling myself. When I had just finished doing my hair and make-up, when I was at an event, or when I simply was having a great day.
But it had never occurred to me to take a selfie when I WASN’T feeling myself. I guess because I didn’t want to represent myself when I felt my worst. I wanted social media to only see me at my best. But then came a point where I questioned myself on who I was representing on social media. Was I only showing a superficial side of me? Is only posting the good and not the ugly a true representation of me? Am I being fake? Who said that you should only post selfies of yourself when you feel good? Isn’t the point of social media to represent who you are? Isn’t the point of life to have ups and downs? I thought deeply about this concept of #feelingmyself. And concluded that sometimes I’m NOT feeling myself and that’s okay too. Is it not? It’s part of being human. I’ve had to learn that we must embrace every part of ourselves and of life even the bad parts because it’s what molds us to who we are. So, why not take a selfie when you’re not feeling yourself? Is it because we don’t want to remember that bad day? Is it because we want to portray only the good parts of ourselves? I take selfies to remember a specific point in my life. To have a picture that could forever remind me how I felt, what I was doing, and why I was doing it I believe is a good thing. Because then I look back at those #notfeelingmyself selfies and see how far I’ve come and how I overcame those bad days.
This whole idea didn’t come to me until I was taken a picture on one of my bad days. It was January 25, 2016 when the picture was taken. I had been crying all night because I had gotten in a fight with my boyfriend the night before and ended up breaking up. I was also hung-over and my hair was oily from not taking a shower in two days. My armpits smelled like sweat. I was wearing the same outfit from the night before. I was on three hours of sleep with no make-up on. And to top it all off I had my wallet and my one week old iPhone 6s stolen all at the same time. Since my wallet was stolen I needed to replace all my cards. I went to the DMV that morning looking and feeling like crap to get a new ID. It didn’t occur to me that they were going to take a new picture of me. Then and there, while I was standing in front of that ugly blue sheet and staring at this weird camera that was being monitored by this old man that looked like he hated his job, that I realized that I was going to remember this event forever. My ID card is with me at all times. I look back at this picture now and realized that I’m in a way better place than January 25, 2016. I’m much happier and NOW I’m totally feeling myself. That’s when I realized that why not take a picture of that bad day. I could look at that #notfeelingmyself picture and smile. So next time you have a bad day just know that everything will be okay and life will go on. We all have #notfeelingmyself days and that’s totally okay too!!!
