Single & Independent: Why Depend on A Man
Single is a word synonymous with sadness, loneliness, and failure. To be single is to be undesirable by most standards. If a woman is single, then it is an insult due to the more severe expectations placed upon them to be valued. Specifically these descriptions fall upon women. Why is it that women are highly criticized for their relationship status. It is difficult for society to accept that being single is something positive, not negative. Despite not having companionship, some women may prefer to stay single to focus on themselves, bettering their lives, in that it will allow for them to discover more about herself before they embark in a committed relationship.
In the Vietnamese culture, and many other Asian cultures alike, being single until a certain age, now in modern society to be unwed by thirty one is considered to be undesirable, simply you are labled as a spinster. A spinster is a woman who is past the age of thirty, and considered undesirable, no longer “marriage material. It is not widely accepted within this society anything that connotes a negative meaning is linked to women, but however does not apply to men. When a man is single, he’s deemed as an available bachelor, enjoying his single freedom, conveying forth a positive meaning. Similar to status, dating also poses double negatives on both ends of the spectrum. When a man is seen dating multiple women he is labeled a “player”, and praised for his actions, likewise if a women is seen dating multiple men she is labeled a “slut” and looked down upon for her actions. Labels are words that will negatively affect the victim after the words have been said. Growing up, despite the ages old tradition of being arranged into a marriage at such a young age, then having children, it was slightly different in my family; in that my cousins and myself are not arranged into marriages. Rather we are held to a different standard of expectations, being that we are expected to be married with children before the age of thirty. There were contrasting principles that the girls were not allowed to date until a certain age, which varied on parental consent. However the boys were always asked if they had started dating or were currently dating anyone. I always questioned that double standard of dating my family carried, but at the same time, the women are still criticized if they were still single and not married by thirty. I questioned the contradiction of not having the consent to date, yet the girls in my family are held to the standard of being able to marry by thirty. Which begs the question, why is the status of being single and proud looked down upon in regards to women?
In short, women of today still continue to conquer and thrive without the assistance of a male figure. Women have advanced in terms of how far we have come fighting for our rights and beliefs. Small issues such as relationship status seem to always be a determining factor in using judgment toward women. A determinant in how they are as a person, which is senseless in how another person ( a man) can define a woman and her morals and values. Strong independent women are not single, because they they cannot find anyone suitable, but because they choose to do so. They choose to put themselves first, focusing on their career, and by doing so have found true happiness within. A relationship should not be the foundation of one’s happiness or define who they are as a person, but should add to their already existing happiness one chooses to hold within. Women that have broken past this stigma of oppression, include Alice Paul and Lucy Burns second wave feminists. That have in addition altered the way people view single women to be strong, intelligent, and amongst all independent.
