Woman, Let’s play…
Crazy how tables are turning nowadays. More women are engaging in casual sex and enjoying it more than expected. We are conditioned as women to stay away from inappropriate behaviors, we can’t do this, we can’t do that, you need to be a virgin until marriage or once you give the cookie it’s a done deal..
A lot of don’t do’s right? I mean things like this could’ve been doable if it weren’t for the way society has evolved into the free speech of women and the new avenues there has been for women to express themselves. I mean would we even think of the possibility of sex without commitment! I never ever thought about sex out of marriage, it wasn’t until I met my first boyfriend in high school. I’m guessing my sex drive was at it peak, we waited until i turned 15 and baam we sealed the deal. After the deal was sealed we were like rabbits having sex anytime we could I find it funny now because I have no idea where all that energy came from. After about a year and a half our relationship came to an end because he went to jail for possession of guns. I had left to North Carolina during the time so when I came back I considered our relationship over and never looked back. Surprisingly I didn’t regret my decision to jump into sex so quickly it was great sex and I enjoyed every bit of it.
Then came my second boyfriend the guy that up to day I consider my first real love. We were together for about 3 years, had an amazing relationship (most of the time), we had our downs (he cheated more than once) and we grew up together you can say. Most importantly our sex life was AMAZING let me repeat AMAZING I mean sex was never dull and a climax was always hit. I know for a fact our sex life was one of the reason why we lasted as long as we did. We would break up and make up and do it all over again multiple times. Once we broke up (he cheated and actually made her his gf) I was more bummed out about losing the sex than him to be honest. I know pretty petty but it is what it is.
With this break up I was about 20 years old and working, going to school and I realized relationships are a job that require time and a lot of it “Do I really have the time?”. No I didn’t and I still don’t but I have given up in the male species for now. Most of my girlfriends were in no strings attached relationships and well I found that amazing LOL. I set myself for a journey to find a “no strings attached relationship” the result was it failed….miserably, every guy I dated wanted something more and it went down the drain from there….
Sex to me is important I don’t care how cute you are or how much I think I like you if the sex sucks and I have tried to compromise but still nothing we are DONE. If I can’t have great sex with you that means all the other factors of the relationship have to be stable (communication, commitment, compromise, etc.) which most likely won’t happen. I have dated some guys that I liked but once we hooked up I found there flaw (not passionate sex partner) and I would not give any effort into the relationship, within the month we would not exist anymore. I sound vicious huh? But too bad it’s the raw truth, I have my needs as any other individual and if they aren’t met I have to fix it even if it means moving on..
About a year ago one of my desires came true. My amazing (cheating) cuban boyfriend came back and we began hooking up, interestingly the sex wasn’t as great (it took couple of times) but it got better. I found it ironic how my “no strings attached” relationship was with the guy who I was completely and utterly in love with and now it was strictly just sex. I began to notice a pattern of him texting me every other day and I got SCARED me not him okay… Wow I never ever thought I would be scared of him wanting me back, so unfortunately I ended our little arrangement because the thought of becoming his girlfriend scared the crap out of me and I was just not in the position to commit myself to him or anyone for that matter of fact. It was time to get him out of life, everytime we saw each other it reminded me that I can do sooooo much better finding a “just sex” partner or partner at all. I had been having sex with the guy since I was 16 come on….
I’m sorry guys but women are just as capable of having a “no strings attached” relationship as man. NEVER EVER did I see myself being the one to break off anything with my ex but it’s true time heals and helps you move on as well as grow as an individual. Now I look at him and question my abilities to pick guys cause I suck….
We need to stop worrying about the number of guys we’ve slept with.. We need to fulfill our needs and explore our desires. Screw those don’t do’s and understand that sex SHOULD be a component to a successful relationship. You shouldn’t be 22 and not yet have had an orgasm, and you shouldn’t restrict yourself to these beliefs that are so old fashioned and not up to date. Never did I see myself discussing the advantages of a “just sex” relationship and I never thought I’d be in one for as long as I was….I am 22 and I do not see myself engaging in a full on committed lovie dovie relationship, I do not see myself dating at all PERIOD. It’s time
consuming and time is crucial for me right now so I will not waste it on dating so it can end eventually. I am not a slut I am just a woman whose priority isn’t a relationship and who doesn’t see hooking up as a sin..
Only after two years my sex outlook has changed and drastically I never saw myself in a situation where sex became such a crucial component for relationship to be executed. Yes, i enjoy sex very much….
