Abortion happens, so get over it!
Women should have the right to do what they do with their own bodies. For many of years, men had placed their ideas on what women should look like. And women have continuously put other women down because of these particular ways. Whether it’s Lil’ Kim getting plastic surgery and bleaching her skin, Kelly Clarkson is “too big” after the birth of her daughter, River, or women making the decision to have an abortion; society has quickly to judge women for the choices they made to their bodies.
Since when did it become a man’s decision to criticize how women should act, think, or feel about themselves.
Women fought for decades to be able to reclaim what is rightfully theirs, which is their own bodies. And for many of decades, men have continuously placed their decision on women. And men feel as though they can tell women on what they can do with their bodies and by allowing that women have allowed men to have power on what kind of rights women should have.
Men have continually oppress women of all colors.
And if I remember correctly, my vagina belongs to me and only me. Who I choose to have sex with, have a child with, and how I want to look is my personal right. Not a man that doesn’t know what it takes into being a woman, or someone that has never been in a shoe of a woman.
I had once felt this way throughout high school and my early 20s. That my body was not mine. I had allowed what others negative opinions and thoughts, especially men, get the best of me. I allowed others to change the way, I had looked at myself and the negativity affect my body.
As I got older, I had finally taken a stand. My body was mine and mine alone. Screw, what others have thought about me…
As a mother, student and a woman of color; I would like to say, screw the misogynistic male patriarchal ideas being placed on women.
I had my daughter in March of 2012 and less than a year later, I had discovered that I was pregnant once again by my abuser (my daughter’s father).
HE WANTED ME TO KEEP THE SECOND CHILD, BUT WANTED ME TO HAVE AN ABORTION WITH OUR FIRST CHILD.
But, I had made the choice for my daughter without thinking twice about what he wanted. And I had made the decision to have an abortion in my second pregnancy.
Yes, I had an abortion after my daughter.
When I made the decision, I knew that people would look at me wrong for getting pregnant again and for having an abortion as well. I also knew that my family wouldn’t be jumping for joy about it either.
My mother had pre-warned me about getting pregnant again…
If you get pregnant again, you will have to move out and live on your own. I am not helping you take care of two children.
I knew that things would be a lot harder having two little ones back to back; and having a their deadbeat father running in and out of three children’s lives (my daughter and his other two children from previous relationships), things would be worse for another child.
I knew that I wasn’t ready to have another child, but my abuser tried to convince me to keep the baby. And tried to trap me into staying in the relationship.
During that time I wasn’t mentally stable. I was suffering from postpartum depression and I was afraid it would get worse. If I had another child, I was afraid that I would end up like Andrea Yates.
I was trying to further my education. But I was not mentally stable. I was not financially stable. And I was in a domestic violence relationship.
To this day, I still haven’t told my family. I didn’t like talking about it because I felt like people wouldn’t understand. If the question would have ever been brought up, I didn’t know how to explain it to people, especially my family.
But looking back, I don’t regret it. Yes, bring another child into this world would have been great. However, when I am ready is even better.
My abuser doesn’t help me, nor sees my daughter ever, since I had left him. After removing myself from his control, I finally saw how much of a horrible partner and father he really was. If I would have brought another child into this world, things wouldn’t be any better. I know that I would not be where I am today. I would not be in school finishing my junior year at Cal State LA. I would not have the strength to even write this nor I would not be happy.
Will there be people that won’t accept my decision, of course. But how can anyone tell me what do with my body, when it’s not even theirs to begin with. The first and second wave of feminists had fought tooth and nail into giving future generations the rights to be able to make decisions for themselves. Whatever decision a woman makes into changing her physical appearance, her sexual orientation, her gender identity or whether to have a child or not; is a woman’s decision to make and should have the right to do so.
