Bad Yelp!

On the road, we rely on other people’s comments to get around — where is the good coffee/food/place to stay? Yelp! and TripAdvisor are key. But you do wonder which reviews are warranted and which are the results of very picky people. (I have discovered that pickiness is not relegated to the coasts or urban centers.)

Yesterday we were hanging out in downtown Seattle at our friend’s pub, discussing the ins and outs of the restaurant business, when he said, “I haven’t looked at Yelp! for two years. It’s always — ‘I really wanted to like the salad, but…’” He rolled his eyes. Small business owners are at the mercy of other people’s opinions.

It’s our right as consumers to vote “yes” or “no” on a place, but how does our critique trickle down?

We’ve had overwhelmingly positive experiences on the trip so far (adjusted expectations are key), but there is one place that truly deserved a rotten tomato. It’s called the Dakota Inn. I won’t say where. You can guess.

Google directed us to the access road behind the hotel (why does it do this??). Never a good idea. Our first look at the Dakota was from the rear. We were all suspicious, but seeing the room confirmed it. Tired renovation, not clean. I can deal with almost anything but not clean. The bathroom wasn’t up to a Motel 6 standard. So after Jerry and I argued about moving (It’s too late! — it was), I went to the front desk, which is where I encountered two young blondish women I’ll call Romie and Michele.

Romie: “I’m sooo sorry.”

Woman next to me. “My sister said her room wasn’t clean either.”

Michele: “That, like, never happens. Never.”

Me: “Can someone clean it?”

Romie to Michele: “Does what’s-her-name do that?”

Michele: “Sure, like. Why not?”

The dude waiting behind me shakes his head. We were at their mercy.

What’s her name showed up about 15 minutes later and I instantly wished I had not complained. She was polite, but wouldn’t look me in the eye. She grimly, but dutifully washed our bathroom. Dressed in shorts and a t-shirt — no uniform in sight — this really wasn’t her job. I tried to make small talk to ease the discomfort, mostly mine, but there was no way to bridge the gulf between us.

I thanked her and acknowledged it was late. “Yeah, but I’m on until 11.” On until 11. There it was. Our worlds were so far apart. My job is self-directed and she has very little (if any) control over hers. And she looked like she really needed the lousy job.

Before I met this woman, I was ready to post the mother of all bad Yelp! reviews and encourage the other guests to do the same. But after, I realized — what if a series of bad Yelp! reviews made her lose her job?

The owner wouldn’t take responsibility. You could tell by how the place was kept up. He or she would blame Romie and Michele. And they would certainly pass the buck. They still hadn’t figured out how to turn on the coffee maker (“Doesn’t what’s her name do that??”). So, who would get blamed? The woman whose job description did not include cleaning our bathroom?

Jobs are hard to come by in certain areas of this country right now. Driving through the towns in between the big parks and tourists destinations you see a lot of rural poverty. I have every right to word vomit all over the Dakota Inn if I want to, but even Romie and Michele probably need their jobs. And I know what’s her name does.

I resisted, but the tension to act or not act remained. I wanted the owner to feel the full force of my irritation, but that probably wouldn’t happen.

The good news is our next night’s stay at the C’mon Inn was excellent. Rustic lodge decor. Indoor Pool. Complimentary breakfast. Koi pond. The woman at the front desk was efficient and polite and had recently returned to Casper, Wyoming from a stint in NYC. Go figure.

[To learn more about our thirty day adventure across America, check out our other publications 30 CUPS ACROSS and BEST (HEALTHY) ROAD FOOD.]