THE JOURNEY HOME
When that busy day is over
When that crying mouth is fed
When the shaker and the mover
Has provided daily bread
What then will still remain?
When all is done and said?
Is it emptiness or pain?
Or a longing or a dread?
Will I be satisfied?
Or will I still feel rough?
From those endless tears I’ve cried
Fearing I am not enough?
I have wrestled down the demons
I have faced my inner truth
I have looked into the reasons
And the troubles from my youth
Overturning every stone
And facing every fear
I have walked the path alone
And with friends along to cheer
The answer still eluded
For what would still remain
Was thinking quite deluded
As my heart still felt in pain
I discovered on an island
Underneath a palm I sat
A soulful place in Thailand
Where the journey was a mat
I was so surprised to find
Underneath all of the fear
Was a love so pure and fine
Sweet as water, crystal clear
It reached around the world
And included all I knew
It enveloped and unfurled
Like a soaring bird it flew
It had a quiet voice
A gentle, singing song
It gave me little choice
I just had to sing along
The song it sang was sweet
I recognised the tune
It sang as I did meet
The most beautiful full moon
It sang a song so simple
And of healing from the pain
I saw my sister’s dimple
And her smiling face again
The song was full of joy
My heart did overflow
The love for my two boys
And all the love I’d known
In that lazy afternoon
It sang the chorus clear
I heard it in my little room
I heard it everywhere
It sang this song for me
And it sang this song for you
It sang to help us see
Every word of it is true
The stanzas are for each
But the chorus is for all
As I sit here on the beach
I invite you — hear the call:
“We can seek and search forever
But no matter where we roam
There’s a Love inside, that holds us
When we find it, we are home”
Samahita means returning to centre — or coming home. I took myself on retreat to this beautiful place Samahita in Koh Samui Thailand in April 2019 and it changed me forever. It connected me deeply to my soul, spirit and body. The place and the people there held me with love and in turn I felt the love within. This poem connected me to my sister Suzanne who passed into the Beyond three years earlier and who came to me in a dream whilst I was in Samahita. Laughing.
Giving myself this grace and space was very hard won at the time; being the main bread winner with so many responsibilities it seemed almost impossible to take this time just for me. It might have even felt a little bit of a luxury. In and of itself it was a indeed a lovely break, however the profound message it gave to me was that taking space for myself was crucial. I simply could not give from an empty cup and I was running on empty at the time.
The most beautiful thing of all that I discovered on retreat was that once my nervous system had settled, and my body and mind was rested and healthy; I came back home to peace, fulfilment, freedom and love — to the heart of me — the constant that is always there; waiting to be re-membered.
Here is the video of me sharing this poem — it Starts at 1min 48 seconds https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45OrRZ6XMvQ
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