Letting Go Of The Overambitious Self
Is being overly ambitious a bad thing?
I’ve always wanted to do a million and one things; write, sing, dance, paint, be successful — because who wouldn’t want that? Yet despite everything I’ve always wanted to do, I never managed to do anything.
I never became a writer — per se.
I never became a dancer.
I’m still not successful, and I’m positive that if you looked up my net worth it would amount to absolutely nothing.
I never became an artist or an opera singer.
And now, my latest dream is to become an agency owner and work my way towards financial freedom. Perhaps I should add that to my list of things I didn’t become, but I don’t know that’s a bit too pessimistic even for me.
Looking back now, I realize why I never succeeded in the past, and no, it wasn’t due to my lack of trying. It was due to my inability to stick to one thing.
In one of his books, Fredrik Backman said to choose one path and stick to it because it’ll take you further than walking around in circles. He was right. All my life I’ve been running. Running towards a goal, a vision, a life, and whenever that goal didn’t pan out, I ran towards the next one. I never stopped to think that maybe running was the problem. I confused my inability to stick to one thing and my lack of discipline for overambition, but I was wrong, I’ve always been wrong. I thought that by doing everything, I would gain the label of being a jack of all trades, but I wasn’t even that I was hardly a beginner.
I’m not writing this to put myself down but to own my mistakes and try to improve in the future. It’s interesting how seemingly simple pieces of advice don’t seem to click until you’re ready to listen. I think that I’m finally ready. This way of life, of hanging on to the title of an ambitious person, is no longer serving me, so I’ve decided to let it go.
My next step is choosing a path, whether it be one of a writer, a dancer, a singer, an astronaut — okay, maybe not that — or an agency owner, and sticking with it.
That’s all from me for now.
Till next time.
Thank you for reading.
