I Don’t Understand Why I’m Sick. I do everything the CDC Asks of Me.
Published in
1 min readApr 2, 2020
- I wash my hands for 20 seconds once a day.
- I started taking 20 second long showers once a week.
- I don’t touch my face, just other people’s faces.
- I’m in social isolation in my own booth at a packed bar every night.
- I make sure that when I do sneeze, I sneeze right into my large bottle of hand sanitizer.
- I have been working from home… at the crowded Starbucks down the street.
- I bought a facemask. It’s a Kylo Ren limited edition mask and I keep it in its casing on my coffee table. It’ll be worth something one day. Trust me.
- I keep one handkerchief on me at all times.
- I always clean my cellphone with my handkerchief.
- I always clean my hands with my handkerchief.
- I always clean my nose with my handkerchief.
- I always clean my face with my handkerchief.
- I have abstained from kissing my wife. Granted, the divorce papers have been turned in so we saw that coming.
- Due to the lack of toilet paper at Walmart, I have found a new use for my divorce papers.
