Top 10 not racist alternative names for the Spokane “Indians”

UPDATE

Wow. Jess Howard pointed out to me something so cool.

The Spokane Indians have a partnership with the Spokane Nation, and the two increasingly collaborated over the years on how the team could truly carry the banner of the Spokane Nation with pride on behalf of the people of the Spokane Nation.

This is probably one of the coolest stories I’ve seen in sports, and something that Spokane should be extremely proud of. 👏 👏 👏

Original article

The Tri-City Dust Devils kick off their home opening series today playing against a team named for an oppressed and exploited people group.

If you’ve been following Maybe We Should Stop Being Racist Sports News, you probably caught that the Cleveland professional baseball team has thankfully committed to abandoning the incredibly racist Chief Wahoo logo. This is hopefully the first step in eliminating the name entirely. Perhaps our friends in Spokane could lead the way by renaming their team first.

Now, maybe you’re a reasonable person genuinely asking, “Why is calling a team ‘Indians’ racist?” If so, please allow me to help make it clear in this quick aside:

Why is it racist to name teams after natives?

Most team mascots are named for animals, things, and places.

Naming a team after a group of people who had their land stolen and were brutally hunted down and murdered is adding i̶n̶s̶u̶l̶t̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶i̶n̶j̶u̶r̶y̶ dehumanization to genocide.

A lot of times there are cases cited like Notre Dame Fighting Irish, Montréal Canadiens or Tri-City Americans being named after people groups. You could also point to the Pittsburgh Steelers or Green Bay (Cheese) Packers) in this way.

“No one has a problem with those names.”

The critical difference is that those teams are all named with pride.

Okay, maybe there are steelworkers who aren’t proud of their job. But if you aren’t proud of your job, you can quit. A job is not an integral part of a person’s identity. You can quit being a cheese packer, but you can’t quit your race.

In all of the race examples (Canadiens, Americans, Irish), the people who named those teams are extremely proud of those names and the namers absolutely included members of the group described. Teams named after natives certainly had no indigenous people participating in the naming. That should be the first clue this is inappropriate.

Okay, but what about Notre Dame’s Fighting Irish?

There were obviously a lot of Irish Catholic folks behind the founding of Notre Dame. Originally many Notre Dame folks opposed the name because people looked down on Irish people, but eventually they embraced it with pride in defiance of cultural oppression.

So, yes, “Indians” is racist.

Note added later: In the specific example of the Spokane Indians, the fact that the Spokane Nation has directly embraced the logo and has worked in partnership to claim it as their own is fantastic, and a true redemption of the team’s branding.

Okay, we’re back.

So, here’s a few suggestions to our Spokane neighbors of what they might consider renaming their team:

Spokane Potholes

Spokane is the pothole capital of the world. Just embrace it.

Spokane Sprawlers

Has kind of a “brawlers” feel while being honest about the region’s glut of suburbanity. Brutal honesty is a valuable quality in a team mascot.

Spokane Ice Storm

Nobody does infrastructure crippling ice storms like the ‘kane-town.

Spokane Snowbound

Another variation on the winter theme.

Spokane Gonzagas

May as well embrace literally the only thing anyone outside of Washington knows about Spokane.

Spokane Valleydrivers

Because Spokane Divisiondrivers feels a bit too tongue-twisty.

Spokane Inland Emperors

Everywhere you go in Spokane, you see references to the region being referred to as “inland empire”. If you’re going to have an empire, there’s gotta be an emperor.

Spokane It’s Fine

It’s really true. Spokane is fine.

Spokane Racist? You Should See North Idaho

I know it hurts to be called racist. The Spokane baseball team could make a classic PR move and rebrand while also redirecting the attention toward someone who’s a lot worse.

Spokane No They Actually Spell it Coeur d’Alene

I don’t live in Spokane, but I feel like if I did, I would spend a high percentage of my time telling people how Coeur d’Alene is actually spelled. (This is, incidentally, at the very top of the list of the many irrational and obscure reasons why I never want to live in Spokane.)

How about you?

I don’t mean they should name the team after you. I mean what do you think?

What names would you suggest? Reply with your suggestions to @fantasyworkball on Twitter or leave a comment on Facebook or hashtag it #SpokaneSomethings and I’ll add them here.