What Indians Want From America: Or, Consumerism Run Amok
OKRP’s Head of Client Business looks at the quirky demands of his Indian relatives for American products
by Rahul Roy
I recently made another lovely trip back to see family and friends in India. Having done this with boring regularity for many years, pre-trip planning should not be a big deal. But in fact, preparation takes on epic proportions, just not for the reasons you’d think. It’s not about weather-preparedness, medications, appropriate clothing and the like. The unique peculiarity that always defines the last few days before I leave is how to fulfill “The List” of things people want.
This sounds deceptively simple: what and how many gifts do you carry and for whom? Rational behavior suggests this is a non-issue — small gifts for the family, indulgences for friends, perhaps something locally made in Chicago. And anyway, in these days of global supply chain management and multinational brand consumerism, every brand under the sun has overrun India. People drive their Fords to the local KFC wearing their Nike outfits, protected from the sun in their Raybans while drinking Coke and playing music on iPhones. P&G, Unilever, Nestle and S.C. Johnson products can be picked up at any local market. For god’s sake, Louis Vuitton’s store in New Delhi is apparently more profitable per square foot than the Paris flagship. The supposed Third World has access to everything. This should be easy.
Think again.
Aside from the potential family crisis I’d cause if I dare forget something for my mother’s cook’s wife, The List still has the potential to reduce me to a gibbering mess.
For those of you lucky enough not to know, The List consists of minutely specific, everyday items that can apparently only be found wherever you happen to be coming from. It’s critical not to point out that items on said list are probably all available in the Motherland. Being purchased and hand-carried from America is the only method to ensure approval.
Here’s a random sampling of very real requests:
Aveeno Hand Moisturizer for Sensitive Skin (tube, not bottle)
Slim Jim’s Tabasco Flavor Beef Jerky Strips
Brown woolen (argyle pattern only, please) knee-high socks
Size 6.5 Nike Jr. Mercurial Vapor X FG indoor soccer cleats (green & gold, no others)
Palmer’s Cocoa Butter Formula Skin Therapy Oil (not lotion)
Kraft’s Shredded Parmesan Cheese (5 boxes)
20 multipacks of Eclipse Spearmint Gum
Oh yes, and 24 Double-Colorado Laser Eye Fishing Spinnerbaits (only from Bass Pro)
Really? Seriously? This is what I’m carrying 8,000 miles across the world? Forget my career-long immersion in the study of consumers — it’s time to admit that the needs of my friends and family befuddle me and always will.
