Welcome to Wholehearted. Here’s what it’s about: helping churches make disciples who are mentally, emotionally, and spiritually healthy.
My church stared at me when I said “sex” from the pulpit. It’s a word pastors should use more when they preach, because sex profoundly affects the lives of the people in our churches. Particularly sexual abuse, which is what I was talking about last Sunday. I looked around the room, catching the wide eyes of those who sat stiff, unused to hearing about abuse in church. A few dear friends smiled at me, friends who are working to overcome their abusive pasts. They knew what I was about to say, because I’ve said it to them one-on-one over tea and tissues: it wasn’t your fault.
I’m an American on staff at an international church in the Netherlands, where I’m living while my husband works for a European company. My ministry responsibilities include providing pastoral care for people who have survived sexual assault or domestic violence or are dealing with emotional crises or mental illnesses. I know their stories. I know their diagnoses. I know their fears and victories. And they know my story, which has brought me into this work.
In 2009, I had an emotional breakdown. Multiple factors led to it: unprocessed grief, unhealed wounds from abuse, undiagnosed postpartum depression. I wish I had had a pastor to care for me as I fell apart and put myself back together again. A few key friends supported me emotionally, but for spiritual guidance, I turned to books and the internet. I am in seminary to become the minister I longed for but didn’t have.
My New Testament master’s degree program comes to me across the ocean, in the middle of the night in my time zone, in a live virtual classroom. I am studying Biblical context and theology with a focus on writing and teaching for the church because I want to be grounded in the Bible as I offer God’s healing to people. Beyond my formal school work, I’m continuing my study of the last seven years on mental and emotional health and how they can better connect with Christian discipleship.
One special interest for me, which I plan to focus on in my thesis, is examining how Jesus handled his emotions in healthy ways and teaching people to follow his example. Sometimes people get stuck in their spiritual growth because of emotional problems. A church therapy model that connects mental health professionals with spiritual directors can offer whole-person care, helping people grow to love God with all their hearts, souls, minds, and strength, and to love their neighbors as themselves. I am currently implementing this model at my church, and in the future, I hope to do this work with other churches as a ministry leader.
Each of my hard experiences has given me a specific empathy for others. I’m grateful for the chance to continue putting my studies into practice, encouraging healthy Christians in safe churches who will reach out to build strong communities.
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