5 Simple Ways You Can Improve Your Kids’ Mental Health
Stress and anxiety in kids have been hot topics since COVID-19 has been keeping most people at home. As kids get ready to go back to school with restrictions or continue with distance learning — the world they once knew is completely different.
Parenting toward positive mental health is more important than ever. The London Journal of Primary Care estimates that 5–10% of kids are affected by mental health issues, beginning in early childhood.
The great news is, you can learn to parent in ways that will help your kids have the best mental health. Here are 5 simple things you can start doing TODAY to improve your family’s mental health.
- Assess Your Own Mental Health
My pastor recently used the term mental wellness instead of mental illness. This is an amazing way to think about mental health. He felt it shifted the perspective. If you think about it, we should be thinking about mental wellness. If we work on preventative measures to ensure our mental health stays well, it can have a domino effect on future generations. Waiting until you are so stressed out, on the verge of a breakdown is not helpful for anyone. It’s important to assess your level of stress and engage in self-care as we navigate difficult times.
If you struggle with your mental health, recognizing and addressing it is extremely important. Mental Health America says the effects of parenting with mental illness vary from family to family. Kids are at a higher risk of negative impacts when the parent has a mental illness severe enough that :
- It interferes with positive relationships
- The parent shows little interest in the child
- The parent’s behavior is inconsistent or unpredictable
If this sounds like you, seeking help now can help your entire family. Struggling with mental health doesn’t have to define your parenting. Seeking help from a therapist, reaching out to spiritual leaders, learning coping mechanisms, and developing a support system can help you and your family stay well.
2. Find a Parenting Style That Promotes Mental Wellness
Parenting would be a lot easier if our kids came with a manual. But since they don’t, we can research different parenting styles that align with our values. Positive parenting is one parenting style that focusses on creating positive connections with kids, setting limits with love, being empathic, and avoiding punitive punishment. Positive parenting promotes implementing routines, having consistency, and predictability. All of this gives your child the best chance of feeling safe and connected. The more safe and connected a child feels, the better their mental health will be.
3. Teach Resilience
Kids growing up in these uncertain times are, without a doubt, learning to be resilient. Dr. Kenneth Ginsburg, a pediatrician at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia (CHOP) identified 7 C’s of Resilience to help parents understand how they can help kids. Here, I’ll talk a little about 3 of them: Confidence, Connection, and Character.
- Confidence. Building confidence is extremely important for kids to have positive self-esteem. Easy ways to build confidence in kids are: recognizing when your child does something well, pointing out their positive character traits, and making the environment safe to try new things. Building confidence as soon as possible is extremely important for kids to develop a positive self-image. Being loving, encouraging, and respectful is really important to help kids feel confident and connected.
- Connection. Children need to feel secure — physically, mentally, and emotionally. Allowing a safe place for kids to express themselves is important if you want them to reach out during difficult times. Kids that feel connected to family and the community around them most often seek help within their support system. This can prevent kids from seeking negative attention from others, leading them down the wrong path and making poor choices.
- Character. Early exposure to spirituality and your family’s morals and values will help kids build a strong sense of self and learn right from wrong. Kids who feel connected to something larger than themselves are more empathic and resilient. You can strengthen your child’s character by modeling this behavior. Demonstrating character traits such as honesty, integrity, and empathy will reinforce this to your kids. Celebrating diversity and creating an anti-racist environment helps develop empathy and teaches kids to celebrate differences in others.
4. Emotion Coach
Dr. Laura Markham discusses this in great detail in her book, Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids. Traditional parenting techniques either don’t emphasize emotions or just make kids feel bad about their behavior and emotions. Emotion coaching is a way parents can teach children how to handle their feelings while increasing their emotional intelligence. Kids with high emotional intelligence can problem-solve effectively, and handle stress and anxiety better than kids with lower emotional intelligence. Since emotion coaching uses empathy to help kids understand their feelings, it also increases connection between kids and parents.
5. Mindfulness
Having healthy coping mechanisms is essential for improving mental health. Mindfulness practices allow people to be more present, de-stress, and have “go-to” coping mechanisms when they need it. Mindfulness doesn’t have to be overly complicated, it can be simple breathing techniques or a simple Yoga pose. Practicing it daily will help kids use it when they are stressed or anxious. We need to arm kids with tools in their toolbox so they can handle difficult situations in a healthy way. This starts by teaching them coping skills before they actually need them. Making mindfulness part of daily life will reinforce healthy coping mechanisms. For more information check out the Child Mind Institute’s articles on mindfulness.
Improving your kids’ mental health doesn’t have to be complicated. These are a few simple ways you can help your kids become emotionally healthy, resilient kids. If we are being honest, we know kids live in a high-stress world. Between jam-packed schedules, the pressure to excel in school, peer pressure, violence, bullying, and social media, kids have been at risk for increased stress for years. Now enter COVID and you add an entirely new set of stressors to their life. But it doesn’t mean you have to live a high-stress life. Making a few small changes over time can help your entire family’s mental health for years to come.
