9 Tips on How to Not Take Things Personally
It’s natural to want to be respected.
Humans are sociable creatures, and we desire to be respected by our tribemates. Therefore, critique might sting and inflict mental anguish.
In reality, researchers in a recent study carefully examined participants’ reactions to social evaluation-related films that were both favorable and disapproving. Researchers examined thirty-seven subjects’ behavior as they viewed videos of people expressing feelings in positive, hostile, and indifferent ways. The findings indicated that “judgment harmed everyone.”
While some remarks or actions are, in fact, hurtful, you may tend to take things personally if you find that your emotions are hurt frequently or if you tend to believe that someone was intentionally trying to hurt you emotionally.
What Causes People to Take Things Personally?
Although caring about what others think of us is natural, it shouldn’t get in the way of who we are. There are many reasons why we take things personally, including the following:
- Negative self-talk. We might convince ourselves repeatedly that we’re not good enough or that everything is always our responsibility.
- Childhood trauma. Our perception that we deserve to be laughed at or shamed can be influenced by parental guilt and a lack of emotional support during our formative years.
- Perfectionism. Perfectionists struggle when others point out their faults because they have high expectations for themselves.
- Stress or fatigue. You might be more likely to misunderstand someone else’s remarks when you’re not feeling your best.
- Emotional sensitivity. You might take things more personally if you’re a compassionate individual.
- Poor self-esteem. People with low self-esteem sometimes worry too much about what others think. They may very well take things too personally.
- Anxiety disorders. Those who have social anxiety are extremely afraid of being judged and embarrassed.
When You’re Taking Things Too Personally
We frequently ignore comments such as, “Oh, you look lovely today.” Sometimes we focus too much on the flaws that others point out.
For instance, you might have become upset when your supervisor told you that you couldn’t manage a more significant job. You could have interpreted what he said differently — as a helpful critique.
Signs You May Take Things Too Personally
- You depend on the approval of other people to make you happy.
- You apologize needlessly and are a people pleaser.
- You don’t set or maintain boundaries as a rule.
- You’re afraid to say “no” to requests.
- You believe all harsh comments about yourself and take them to heart.
- You view a mistake in behavior as your character flaw.
- You get defensive or angry quickly.
- You obsess over recent conversations to the point where it interferes with daily activities.
Advantages of Taking Things Personally
Although it may come as a surprise, there are benefits to treating things personally. By taking things personally, our loved ones and those with whom we have close connections can tell what makes us unhappy. They may alter their conduct to avoid offending you if they know this.
Occasionally having your emotions wounded is also humanizing and humbling. The ability to deal with your anguish can then be learned, making you more robust.
How to Stop Taking Things Personally
- Practice emotional resilience.
- Give people the benefit of the doubt because it’s possible that you misunderstood what they were saying.
- Ask the person to clarify what they’ve said.
- Stop worrying about what others think about you.
- Give yourself credit for your strengths.
- Try mindfulness so that you can stay in the present and relieve stress.
- Journal your thoughts.
- Repeat positive affirmations to yourself.
- Seek mental health treatment with a licensed therapist.
Conclusion
It’s common to take things personally occasionally. However, it will affect your mental health if you discover that you frequently feel disturbed or offended by other people’s remarks. Therefore, it’s crucial to learn when your response to a comment or imagined insult is excessive.
Of course, it’s time to reassess your connection with that individual if you’re being verbally abused or observe someone genuinely attempting to hurt your feelings. Consult a therapist if you need help distinguishing between constructive critique and emotional maltreatment.
